Thirteen shows, across six venues in just three days, will bring a vibrant vibe in the Braamfontein and Newtown areas in Joburg this March. The Johannesburg International Comedy Festival returns for a second take from the 10-12 March. The festival is already named, the biggest Independent International Comedy Festival in Africa.

Over 50 local and international comedians will grace the stages of the city of Joburg. Some of the categories for the festival are Comedy for Change, Stand Up for Africa, shows in vernacular and Downtown Comedy Jam. I had the opportunity to interview a few comedians who will be taking part at this year’s festival to find out what they are most looking forward to about the festival and poked their brains about travel and comedy.

1. Conrad and Chester Missing, South Africa

Conrad and Chester, the puppet political analyst. Image courtesy of Johannesburg International Comedy Festival

In your travel and comedic ventures – which country do you find that has the most humours citizens?
Definitely South Africans! Our politics creates the humour by miles. Have you seen our politicians? They were arguing in parliament the other day about who was making a ‘meow-ing’ sound.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?
I would time travel to the Johannesburg International Comedy Festival between the 10-12 March in Braamfontein and Newtown.

What about the Johannesburg International Comedy Festival are you most looking forward to?
I’m looking forward to having International comedy mixing with local geniuses.

You and Chester travel a lot. What are some of the travel essentials you never leave behind?
Chester is my travel essential. I never leave him behind. He is the guy who literally lives in a suitcase.

How has travelling influenced the way you portray comedy?
We speak to a lot of people around South Africa and all over the world. Being able to appeal to different cultures and mindsets is intrinsic to what we do. It’s the core of what we do. A lot of our shows are travel based. The show called Puppet Guy that was at the Baxter Theatre in Cape Town this past September is about Chester’s bag that went missing. Chester went missing on a flight while we were coming back from Montreal, Canada. We were on Air France and Chester was tweeting from his bag. Air France thought they had lost a person. Eventually, the French Embassy apologised to Chester on Twitter. Now, that’s a travel story!

Which parts of the world have you had some of your shows?
We’ve performed all over– Australia, Montreal, London, New York and around Africa.

2. Robby Collins, South Africa

Young comedian and actor Robby Collins will set the stage in the Downtown Comedy Jam category. Image courtesy of Entertainment Online

In your travel and comedic ventures – which country do you find that has the most humorous citizens?
I’d probably say South Africans to be honest. I know most of the country and our culture as South Africans teaches us to look on the brighter side of things because of our heavy past. South Africans are able to laugh at things a lot more than many people I’ve met around the world.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?
Definitely New York! I would be able to work and play. Every comedian wants to go to New York. There are comedy clubs on every corner. It makes sense, to be able to have a good time in New York, while I work.

What about the Johannesburg International Comedy Festival are you most looking forward to?
I did the first JICF last year, and it was a great success. I’m interested in seeing it grow. This year, bigger acts are being brought into the country. Something special is about to happen, with the big group of local and international performers. You learn so much because everyone has something to bring to the table.

What are some of the travel essentials you never leave behind?
My Nivea Spray, I love it!

How has travelling influenced the way you portray comedy?
When you’re travelling around the world, language can be a barrier for different audiences. Comedy isn’t like music, where a melody or the rhythm can get a point across. A comedy audience wants to understand what you have to say. I am fortunate, that the countries I have performed at, English was the predominant language. Sometimes, you can perform in a country that isn’t predominantly English. I have a friend, who performed in Switzerland and Hong Kong who had translators, translating his show. People would stare at him and once the translation was done, the crowd would laugh 20 seconds later. It changes with every crowd, you perform for. In South Africa, English isn’t the first language for many but the cool part is with every show you learn something new. You can deal with a staunch Afrikaans audience or a staunch Zulu audience and that is how our set grows. It makes you more universal and approachable as a performer, especially in those different kinds of situations.

Which parts of the world have you had some of your shows?
I’ve performed all over South Africa and recently in Montreal, Canada.

3. Jason Golaith, South Africa

Jason Goliath is excited about the Johannesburg International Comedy Festival as much as we are. Image courtesy of Johannesburg International Comedy Festival

In your travel and comedic ventures – which country do you find that has the most humorous citizens?
Very interesting question! All countries have their own unique spin but in terms of my experience of countries I have been to, South Africans are definitely the funniest. I’ve been to Argentina, Holland, France and Canada. All the countries have funny quirks about them, but South Africa seems to always be a little bit of everything because we don’t take ourselves too seriously.

If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?
New York! I’ve never been but it’s comedy mecca. At the moment, it’s every comedian’s dream to play in New York. I haven’t had the opportunity to play yet, but I think it’s more that I’ll love it and I’ll never want to come home.

What is the one travel essential you never leave behind?
Imodium. The thing about travel is, different food and different water can have an effect on one’s constitution. In order to never waste a day abroad, I always make sure I pack Imodium with me.

What about the Johannesburg International Comedy Festival are you most looking forward to?
Based on last year’s festival, I love the fact that this year’s festival is a street festival. The big festivals around the world are known to do take-overs in small parts of the city. JICF got it spot on by being in Braamfontein. It’s a great place to park your car and hop from comedy show to comedy show. There’s always a great buzz on the street. I’ve performed at a couple of festivals internationally and JICF is definitely up there from a professional point of view. It is so well managed and makes you feel like you are in New York.

How has travelling influenced the way you portray comedy?
Travelling surprisingly hasn’t had too much of an impact on the way I portray comedy. I like to localise what I do. I often speak about the city I’ll be performing in. South Africa is unique when you travel to many first world countries because most of their content is similar. First world countries, you will find their stories are the same. They have similar rhythms. In South Africa, we come from diverse backgrounds, with history and pain in our sub-cultures. South African comedy is strong, that’s why guys like Tats Nkonzo, Loyiso Gola and Trevor Noah do so well abroad. It’s not easy for South Africans to be influenced by International Comedy, we have our own style.

4. Jessica Michelle Singleton, The United States of America

Comedian Jessica Michelle Singleton, will be gracing the South African comedy stage for the first time.

In your travel and comedic ventures – which country do you find that has the most humorous citizens?
I’ve been travelling a lot in the last year, it’s interesting to learn that many places have their own kind of humour. Many of my favourite moments have come out of the UK. Arguably, anywhere you go people have a good sense of humour. Comedy is universal, it is just about what people find funny.

If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?
I’m really excited to come to South Africa. It will be my first time and I’m looking forward it.

What about the Johannesburg International Comedy Festival are you most looking forward to?
I love comedy festivals. They’re like Summer festivals that all comedians attend. I can’t wait to meet new comedians. Comedians are crazy and fun. The best part is making new friends.

What is the one travel essential you never leave behind?
My phone. As silly as it sounds, it’s become a lifesaver. If I get lost in the streets of a foreign country, I use my Google maps. It’s become a crutch.

How has travelling influenced the way you portray comedy?
I would recommend travelling to everyone. Immersing yourself in different cultures broadens who you are as a person. It helps with your ability to relate to people. Relating to people from different places is one of the fundamentals in comedy.

Which parts of the world have you had some of your shows?
Korea, Switzerland, Amsterdam, Paris, Thailand and Cabo in Mexico.

5. Athena Kugblenu, United Kingdom

Athena Kugblenu will be in the country for the first time.

In your travel and comedic ventures – which country have you found to have the most humorous citizens?
I’m going to say Britain because we don’t realise how funny we are. We are the easiest country to be laughed at.

If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?
Guyana in South America, without a doubt. That is where my mother is from. She never returned there. She came to the UK in the 60s and she stayed. It’s a country I am so intrigued by. There is the wilderness: typical rain forest, wildlife and also the amazing landscapes.

What is the one travel essential you never leave behind?
Cocoa butter! If it’s cold, it’s good for the skin. Due to travel restrictions and sometimes it’s easy to forget. I always pack it in my hand luggage.

What about the Johannesburg International Comedy Festival are you most looking forward to?
I’m looking forward to seeing how my jokes will be found in South Africa. I speak a lot about race, immigration, family and having a mixed race heritage.

How has travelling influenced the way you portray comedy?
I speak a lot about my experiences as a black person who travels. If you are black, you’re well aware of what it is like to travel to foreign countries. Comedy has influenced the way I travel as I also speak of the privilege of travel. It’s something we take for granted, being able to hop on a plane and travel.

Tickets for the festival can be purchased at TicketPro ticketpro.co.za. Follow the Johannesburg International Comedy on Twitter and Instagram @jicf and join the conversation using the hashtag #JICF. For more information, you can also visit jicf.co.za.

Inhambane is South Africa’s favourite Mozambique holiday town. Evan Haussmann found a relaxing, easy road trip route with some surprising stops along the way.

Off-road from El Paso to the EN1.

Sun, sea, colourful cultural attractions, diving with manta rays and whale sharks, dhow trips and aromatic markets make Inhambane a popular holiday spot for South Africans, but the 12-hour-plus drive on Mozambique’s EN1, much like trying to read this sentence in one breath, can be exhausting. Instead, my girlfriend Claire and I decided to break up the trip and see more of the country we so often whizz through. We discovered, with the completion of a ring road that skirts the erratic Maputo traffic, that we could be in our first slice of paradise in about six hours. Here’s how we did it:

You might also like: Things to do in Tofo and Inhambane town, Mozambique

To the Beach…

We made the Macaneta Peninsula our first stop. It’s a relatively easy drive from Joburg and a popular weekend escape for the people of Maputo, just 40 kilometres north. We’d also heard about El Paso, an old-style ‘cowboy resort’. After turning off the main drag, our GPS cracked us up when the voice said, ‘In 500 metres, take the ferry.’ I didn’t know GPSes could say that. Sure enough, as we rounded the corner a ragged, rusted and smoking diesel craft laden with cars chugged towards the bank. While waiting to board we bought fresh prawns and ice-cold beers from chatty vendors in the parking area. The crossing, though a bit hairy due to the dilapidated state of the ferry, was uneventful.

Safely ashore, we took a 15-minute drive along a dirt road, following signs to El Paso. The road weaves through tiny villages and bush and becomes quite sandy (passable with a sedan, but it’s better to use a high-clearance vehicle). El Paso is modelled on a Wild West town; horses roam around creosoted wooden buildings decorated with interesting antiques and wagon wheels on the verandas. The rustic bar, with the requisite swing doors and bar stools made from horse saddles, was a great place to have our first 2M beer in Mozambique.

El Paso riding guide and stable manager Marzaan Jansen Vuuren living the Wild West dream in Southern Mozambique; The El Paso bar.

The people there were gracious enough to ignore my terrible cowboy accent and instead offered advice on accommodation and the best routes north to Inhambane. We were disappointed not to be able to stay in the Gunsmith ‘shop’ or the El Paso Post Office for the night as they were fully booked. But we did take an exhilarating horse ride through the bush to the beach. Back in the saloon afterwards, Claire’s horse sidled expectantly up to a window behind the bar and was given a beer for his efforts. My inner Wyatt Earp ventured: ‘Well I’ll be darned! Only in the Wild West, y’all!’ The locals may have been happy to see me ride off into the non-sunset at this point.

The great lake escape

Saddle-sore (and not very hungover at all), we were a bit slow to leave the Macaneta Peninsula the next day, which put us on the EN1 quite late. The main highway is busy and the strictly enforced speed limits make progress slow. We didn’t force the issue. We took it easy and languidly passed through a number of dusty but busy towns with no differentiating features between them. We were still travelling when night fell. I’d been told that driving at night in Mozambique isn’t advisable as it can be quite dangerous. In reality, and my opinion, it’s not any more dangerous than anywhere else.

On a whim, and against popular sentiment, we pulled off at a roadside bar, bought a cold drink and sat on a bench outside. Passers-by were clearly intrigued by us being there at that time of night and stopped to chat with the crazy tourists. A few kilometres later, Claire heard loud music and again we pulled off the main road to search for the party. Cruising slowly down a side street lined with food stands and clothing stalls, we made our way through the dim lights towards the beats. At the end of the

At the end of the lane we found a group of youths hanging out in an open- fronted, tin-shack bar with a massive sound system pumping out local dance tunes. The vibe was amazing and we hung out with the kids, dancing in the dust and joking in broken Portuguese, English and sign language.

Nightlife en route to Chidenguele Photo by Evan Haussman

Further along, the GPS directed us to Chidenguele (which means ‘the highest point’ in the local Chope language) and Naara Eco Lodge, our accommodation for the night, set near a network of freshwater lakes shielded from the Indian Ocean by high dunes covered in indigenous vegetation. In the morning we rose before dawn and paddled kayaks across the largest of these waterways, the mirror-like Nhambavale Lake, in perfect golden light.

Afterwards, with wet butts but smiling, we tucked into delicious omelettes in the lodge’s understated, open- fronted restaurant overlooking the lake. We’d wanted to visit King’s Pool but the tide wasn’t in our favour, so instead we headed to the Bao Paz lighthouse. The view from the top reveals an endless beach on one side and a network of inland lakes on the other.

Reluctantly, we tore ourselves away from the luxury and serenity, fired up the Fortuner and slowly headed up the dirt road to get back onto the EN1 and the 200-kilometre home run to Inhambane, which takes you through the seemingly nondescript towns of Quissico, Inharrime and Jangamo. In truth, though, we knew that every one of them had something to offer. One just has to take the time, stop and look.

Plan your trip

Getting there

For the first part of the road trip – from Johannesburg to El Paso: Take the N12 and N4 from Joburg to the Lebombo border, then the EN4 to Maputo. Cross the Rio Matola Bridge, then turn left onto the new ring road (avoiding Maputo entirely). Drive 3,7 kilometres, cross the railway line via another bridge, head right at the traffic circle, drive 12 kilometres and take the slipway left onto the EN1 at the Xai-Xai sign. Head north for 33 kilometres to Marracuene village. Turn right at the Macaneta Lodge sign. At the next T-junction turn left, cross the railway line and then the Inkomati River (by ferry or the new bridge, which should be complete by the time you read this). After 6 kilometres keep left at an off-centre T-junction and follow the signs to El Paso.

The great lake escape – From El Paso to Chidenguele: Unless you have a 4×4 (see alternative route below), you’ll need to backtrack to the EN1. Turn right at Marracuene and head north past Xai-Xai to Chidenguele. Take the dirt road right into town and head west to the beach, where there are several accommodation options. To continue on to Inhambane later, head back to the EN1 and follow the signs.

Search for ‘DriveMoz’ on Facebook for a wealth of information, tips and assistance with all things travel-related in Mozambique.

Things to do along the way

Kayaking on Nhambavale Lake. Photo by Evan Haussman.

Buy fresh prawns and Cokes at the Inkomati River. You’ll find the vendors in the parking area. Prawns from R100 per kilogram.

Ride a horse to the beach and back. Rides start and end in El Paso and take about two hours. From R250 per person. +258844833048, elpasomoz@gmail.com

Play on Nhambavale Lake. It’s some 20 kilometres long and perfect for kayaking, fishing, birding and stand-up paddle- boarding. Kite surfers and sailors love it too. It’s free for guests of Naara Eco Lodge, which supplies kayaks and SUP boards (bring your own if you’re not staying there).

Climb the Bao Paz lighthouse and take in the endless views. It’s a short drive from Naara Eco Lodge and free. Get directions from the lodge.

Swim in King’s Pool, a natural rock pool, at low tide. It’s five kilometres long and the crystal-clear water ensures excellent snorkelling and superb fishing. It purportedly gets its name from kingfish so big that they strip fishing reels like candyfloss at a toddlers’ party. Bring your best gear. It’s seven kilometres from Naara Eco Lodge (they offer transfers there for R100, or you can drive yourself).

Take the ferry across the Inkomati River. Though the bridge might be in operation by the time you do this route, if there’s a chance to take a trip on the ferry, do it. It’s a thrill. R25 per vehicle.

Stop at any roadside bar, have a cool drink and mix with the locals to get a true sense of Mozambique. We found great friendliness and generosity.

Buy home-made peri-peri, fresh fruit, veggies and cashews from the roadside vendors too. You’ll not only get good organic fare but you’ll also be supporting the local economy. From R50 for a 500-millilitre bottle of the hot stuff.

See the Chidenguele Cathedral. It’s impeccably kept and the delicate stained-glass windows and impressively tall spire are incongruous alongside the low, traditional homes in the surrounding area. It’s open during the day (free entry) but if you can get there on a Sunday during service, you’ll be treated to a sermon in Portuguese and particularly beautiful singing; the acoustics are lovely.

Visit the locals. Walk with a guide and get a little insight into the community and it’s way of life. R65 per person (Proceeds go into a community development fund).

Stay here:

El Paso Mozambique has rustic Wild West-themed chalets. From R200 per person B&B (sleeps four). +258844833048, find it on Facebook.

Lugar Do Mar has self-catering chalets with air-conditioning and private braai areas. From R400 per person. 0823789870, +258840260409, lugardomar.com

Naara Eco Lodge & Spa is well- signposted from Chidenguele and easy to find in the day (it’s a little trickier at night – we had to rely on our GPS). The route to the lodge degenerates into a 4×4 track but the lodge offers secure parking for sedans and a free shuttle service to get you there. Ten private, deluxe en-suite safari tents are set around a very stylish restaurant, bar, spa and swimming pool overlooking a lake. Fantastic fusion meals use mostly locally sourced ingredients; ask to have your dinner on the deck next to the lake – romantic! From R1300 for two. +258843212209, naaraecolodge.com

Understated style at Naara’s. Photo by Evan Haussman.

At around R10 per litre, fuel is cheaper in Mozambique so there’s no need to bring jerry cans of petrol into the country (you’ll also get charged an import tax of around 40 percent if you do). When refuelling make sure the meter is zeroed and check the price before paying – ensure the correct amount is charged.

Border information:

Crossing from South Africa to Mozambique at the Lebombo border is (generally) a breeze. The Mozambican side, however, is a challenge. This is mainly due to border officials allowing civilians to stand inside the border post and take advantage of travellers. Their modus operandi is to direct you to a parking space and then ask you to produce the gate pass, which you would have received on entry from an official in uniform.

Once the tout has your gate pass it’s very difficult to get it back as they doggedly guide you through the border entry procedure. There will, of course, be a ‘service fee’ for the assistance provided. If you don’t want to do this, don’t deal with anyone who isn’t in uniform. Officials are helpful and will direct you to the next stage of the process. Allow about two hours for this crossing.

Don’t forget the following

• Passport
• Valid international or SA driver’s licence
• Vehicle registration forms
• Third-party insurance (available at the border or from a travel company)
• Two large reflective triangles
• Reflective jackets
• Fire extinguisher
• ZA sticker

This story first appeared in the November 2016 issue of Getaway magazine.

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Our November issue features the next adventure frontier of Madagascar, affordable breaks in Hogsback, and what to do in the Cradle of Humankind.

Our landlubber columnist finds himself all at sea, facing storms and invading forces and nautical terminology.

If there’s one thing I can do, it’s swat flies.
At least, that’s what I told myself as we bobbed on a warm, muggy afternoon on Chesapeake Bay. Somewhere on the salty horizon was the coast of Virginia, and somewhere on the other horizon was Maryland with its crab cakes and cold beer. I was on a boat with my friend Jacques and his father Jacques, and with each passing hour I was becoming more and more aware that I’m not a sailor.

It’s not just the seasickness. I can live with seasickness. Many fellows who’ve spent a good deal of their lives at sea have been seasick – Charles Darwin, Captain Cook, Admiral Nelson, Mr Smee from Peter Pan – but all of them managed some basic level of competence in their day-to-day duties. Not me.
I’m not all that handy when I’m ashore, but on the water something comes over me. It’s as though I’ve been struck over the head by a frying pan or a large marlin: I become less coordinated, dim-witted, I fumble and blink in bafflement. Imagine Des van Rooyen on his first day on the job as Minister of Finance – that’s me on a boat.

The two Jacques spent a great deal of time patiently trying to teach me to tie a knot, or batten down a hatch, or tie a simpler knot, or simply latch a door. I would nod and seem like I was listening but inside my head it was all flashing lights and panic. When a storm came rushing across the oyster-coloured sea toward us like a CGI special effect, my job was to close the windows so that everyone’s bedding wouldn’t get wet.
‘Have you got it, Darrel?’ called one of the Jacques from the bow, where he was single-handedly weighing anchor and belaying things.
‘Yes!’ I called back. Of course I did. Who can’t close a window? It’s insulting even to think that I might not be able to close a… Then the storm struck and the windows all popped open and the rain came flooding in as though from five different fire hoses.

After that, they no longer trusted me with shipboard duties. They scuttled about tying things up, keelhauling other things, splicing the main brace or whatever, and I would just stand there like a barrel of salted pork.

It doesn’t do swell things for a man’s self-esteem, so when we were attacked by the swarm of bitey horseflies, I finally saw the chance to be useful. I grabbed the solitary on-board fly swatter – a magnificent thing, perfect for its task – and went to work. One fly dead. Two dead. Four! Two in one swat! This was great! They wouldn’t be sorry they’d brought me, no, they’d be grateful. They’d be sipping their grog in a wharfside dive in years to come, saying, ‘Arrghh, thank goodness we had Darrel as our shipmate when the flies attacked!’

I started describing ever more elegant swatting motions, exaggerating my follow-through, holding my form like John McEnroe at the net. I felt useful. I felt valuable. And then, I don’t know, there was a fly hovering above me, insultingly near, and I went for an overhead smash and the tip of the swatter must have just caught the roof because there was a snap and a whoosh and a plop and a glug as the head of swatter broke clean off and flew through the air and landed in the sea and sank.

I stood there staring at a fistful of useless handle. The horseflies slowly realised we were unarmed and rallied themselves to return. The Jacques glared at me like a pair of Poseidons. ‘Man overboard,’ I said, and threw myself into the sea.

This story first appeared in the March 2017 issue of Getaway magazine.

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Our March issue features a self-catering trip to the Seychelles that you can afford, a karoo secret retreat, learning to fly-fish in Rhodes and a joburg road trip for beer lovers. 

Look around you. Sonya Schoeman bets you’ll find beauty, big and small.

Photo by Brendon Jennings.

In 1883, Krakatau Island in Indonesia exploded violently and with a loud bang that was heard 4 600 kilometres away. As it collapsed into the sea, water rushed in to fill the vacuum, columns of magma and rock shot up into the sky and, falling back to sea, caused a tsunami 40 metres high that had repercussions around the world. Only the southern end of Krakatau remained, and that was covered in a layer of pumice 40 metres deep and so hot no life could survive it.

Yet just nine months later, a French expedition there found a microscopic spider spinning a tiny, delicate web. How it came to be there is, to me, one of the most beautiful stories about how nature regenerates.

The spiders are members of aeolian plankton – insects, seeds, fungus spores, bacteria and other small creatures – all of which are carried by the wind and whose purpose is long- distance dispersal. They land where they land – they have no control. It happens continuously, all around us, so delicately and unobtrusively that we don’t see it. But wherever these ‘plankton’ land on Earth, they spread life.

This issue, I feel, is one of our most beautiful yet, filled with destinations the team and I dream about. There’s Associate Editor Caroline Webb and photographer Teagan Cunniffe’s trip to Seychelles, filled with invigorating blues and greens and saucy sunsets (there’s also a useful guide on how to visit on a budget). There’s writer Pippa de Bruyn’s touching story about the vast subtleties of the Sneeuberg in the Karoo, and its deeply healing space (page 80). Former Getaway journalist Chris Davies’ story about learning to fly-fish takes place in the clear, crisp rivers of Rhodes, which cut through honeyed grass hills and fields rich with bird calls (page 90). Paging through this issue, it all feels so beautiful and delicate, this natural world.

As I write this, the Department of Environmental Affairs is about to permit the export of 800 lion skeletons to Asia, a move that is seen as tacit support for the canned lion industry – and the use of endangered animal parts in traditional medicine. At the same time, the leopard hunting ban has been extended for another year. There are losses and wins happening in SA all the time.

I believe we must keep our eyes open, watch closely what our government agrees to, applaud the positive changes it implements but make it known loudly that we disagree when the poor decisions are opened to public comment. We must object to moves that threaten the people and wildlife and places we love and need. For now, we live in a Trump world, a time when heavy-booted people will march carelessly where we believe in treading lightly, and they’ll only be emboldened by a climate-change denialist in high office. This puts our beautiful natural world at risk.

Which brings me back to the tiny spider that ballooned into my office window as I was writing this, as if to say: remember, human, it’s all about the numbers. Go out there and get the numbers. Perhaps, with enough people and voices and time, we can regenerate even the most barren and cynical of environments.

4 things to look out for in this March issue

Valley of 1 000 Hills
Photographer Teagan Cunniffe exquisitely records this culture-rich and mountainous area (page 64).

Dawdling in the dolomites
After reading this story, the Dolomites in Italy’s Alps is on my wish list. Just turn to page 98 and tell me you can’t
see yourself hiking those exquisite views.

Paella is the new potjie
You can pack just one pan and have your weekend cooking sorted – these three recipes will take you through breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Keep informed
The SA Eco Film Festival has a host of great movies. Also, follow these sites: hsi.org, wildaid.org, conservationaction.co.za, environment.co.za.

The Good-Value Star
Each Getaway issue holds a wealth of good-value accommodation, places to stay in for under R550 per person (some for less) and that we think offer good value.

This month’s contributors

Chris Davies – Road trip. Chris has been on the road a lot recently, undertaking some exceptionally difficult assignments: drinking beer and fishing. Fortunately, he’s had plenty of experience in the former, which he put to use seeking out the best craft brewpubs on a road trip from Joburg. Learning to fly-fish was slightly more challenging, but if there’s one place in South Africa to try it, the stunning Eastern Cape Highlands is it.

Melanie van Zyl– Insider’s Guide: The Waterberg. Recently qualified as a field guide, our Gear Editor suspects it has something to do with spending her childhood covered in mud, picking up beetles and looking at tracks in the Waterberg. Melanie has been writing and travelling for Getaway for over four years, but still loves returning to her precious bushveld. Lucky for us, she’s decided to share her favourite spaces.
Teagan Cunniffe– Seychelles, Portfolio, Sneeuberg. Teagan cycled alone to Anse Source D’Argent on La Digue island – one of the most beautiful places on Earth – to watch the sunrise. Our Getaway photographer reckons you should visit Seychelles at least once in your life. If that’s too far afield for now, the thousands of folded hills north of Durban and the vast, silent Sneeuberg will surprise you: underrated beauty in your own backyard.

Caroline Webb –Seychelles. Our Associate Editor loves islands (some say she IS an island), and she was thrilled to tick off another on her list. One of many thoughts that struck her in the Seychelles was: sitting on any beach, staring out at the sea, there is almost always another island across the way. And you can’t help but wonder … what’s it like over there? What are those people doing right now? No other place has encouraged wanderlust in quite the same way.

Read more from this story in the March 2017 issue of Getaway magazine.

This story first appeared in the March 2017 issue of Getaway magazine.

Get this issue →

Our March issue features a self-catering trip to the Seychelles that you can afford, a karoo secret retreat, learning to fly-fish in Rhodes and a joburg road trip for beer lovers. 

Sometimes all one needs to head about town is a mission: and finding the best bakeries in Cape Town is a delicious mission indeed.

Whether you are a local or just visiting Cape Town, these sweet and savoury treats are worth getting out of your way to try out – that way you enjoy the treat and burn the calories. Alternatively, you can make a note to pop in and try out some of our suggestions below the next time you are in the area. From us at Getaway, here is a selection of some of the best bakeries in Cape Town – we hope you treat yo self.

1. Jason’s Bakery

Jason’s Bakery is known for their twists on classic pastries. Every Saturday Jason’s creates a new doughssant (croissant plus doughnut) so they always keep you guessing and coming back for more! They have seating outside which makes it a great meet up spot and you can also order a takeaway over the counter. Everyone in the office agrees this bakery is a definite winner.
Contact: jasonbakery.com, 0214245644
When to go: On Mondays and Tuesday, they are open from 9 am to 3:30 pm and they close at 10 pm on Wednesday. They open from 9 am to 5 pm on Saturdays and they are closed on Sundays and public holidays.

2. New York Bagels

New York Bagels is Africa’s only dedicated Bagelry, specializing in traditional boiled and baked New York-style bagels, offering 13 different varieties. This unique family-run deli is known worldwide for its traditional Jewish specialties such as chopped herring, blintzes, babkas and baked cheesecake. All of New York Bagels products, including all bakery and confectionery items, smoked salmon, brisket and pastrami and a host of other delicacies, are produced on site.
Contact: 021 820 4359, marine@newyorkbagels.co.za or visit their Facebook page, New York Bagels Cape Town
When to go: You can catch them quite early as they open at 7 am to 4 pm. They are located on 44 Harrington Street.

3. The Velvet Cake Company

The Velvet Cake Co opened its doors in January 2012 and has been creating a large variety of innovative cakes for trendy South Africans who are looking for a novel food experience. They create celebration cakes and transform them into extraordinary and delicious treats. They also opened a cake-to-go emporium in April 2014, taking the experience of cake to the next level! They promise you trendy cakes that “will take you on a magical cake experience.”
Contact: thevelvetcakeco.com, 0219140482
When to go: On Monday to Friday they are open from 9am to 4pm and 9am to 1pm on Saturdays and closed on Sunday. They are located on 16 Loop street, CBD and have another brance on 10 Bella Rosa in Rosenpark.

4. Queen of Tarts

Queen of Tarts offers delicious light meals and snacks as well as sweet and savoury goodies to take home. They offer a range of savoury and sweet items including tarts (big and small), cheese platters, snack platters, sandwiches platters, pavlova’s, meringues, cakes, cupcakes and brownies. They make savoury tarts with a green salad that goes for R70, the filling change daily and there is always a vegetarian option. They also offer baking classes for “beautiful baking” – call them to enquire about availability.

Contact: 0214482420, queenoftarts.co.za.
When to visit: They are open on Monday to Friday at 8am to 4pm, Saturday 8am to 2pm and closed on Sundays. They are located on 213 Lower Main Road in Observatory.

5. Knead Bakery

Knead Bakery has a variety of food and breads. They are famous for their varieties of rye bread like their buttermilk rye bread, and have vast options, especially if you are Banting. This bakery is also an ideal place to meet up with people and or catch up with an old friend. The area has a fantastic vibe and their staff is friendly – their prices are quite affordable too.
Contact: Browse kneadbakery.co.za for various branches, but the Knead Bakery Cafe on Kloof is definitely worth checking out.
When to go: They are open from Monday to Sunday from 7.30am to 6pm.

6. The Sweetest Thing Patisserie

Although they are further out in Simon’s Town, our editor Sonya Schoeman, says their treats are worth every mile. She particularly likes their cakes and always calls them for special occasions. They have a variety of treats such as the custard fruit tart, cheesecake and red velvet cupcakes. If you are not interested in sitting here, Simon’s Town has plenty to offer so you could just order your treats as takeaway and go enjoy them with a sea view.
Contact: 0217864200, kalcock@wam.co.za
When to go: They are open from Monday to Sunday 8am to 5pm. They are located on 82 St George’s Street.

7. Loaves on Long

Between tall skyscrapers in the “big bad city” lies a quaint little bakery called Loaves on Long. Run by Lyndal Wakeford and Ciska Rossouw who recently decided to take the plunge and give their dreams all they’ve got. Walking into the shop one is greeted by the tempting smells of beautifully baked breads and buttery pastries. At the back is the open baking section inviting guests to engage and interact with the baker. Flooded with natural light this space feels warm and accepting. Easy to enjoy any of the mouthwatering dishes from the compact yet satisfying menu.
Contact: 021 422 3353, loavesonlong.co.za
When to go: Monday to Friday from 6.30am to 6pm, Saturday from 8am to 4pm and closed on Sundays. They are located on 33 Long street Cape Town.

8. Dinkel Germany Bakery

Dinkel is a traditional German bakery selling freshly baked breads, cakes and cookies. Their coffee shop serves great German breakfasts and daily lunch choices. Other than bread and pies, the menu includes many delicious German products, based on traditional recipes, as well as all time favourite local goodies. They specialize in wheat-free products, made out of rye or spelt flour, suitable for all those who can not enjoy those normal store breads and for those who like to eat less gluten.
Contact: 0214243217, melanie@dinkel.co.za
When to go: They are open from 8am to 5 pm during the week and 8am to 1pm on Saturdays and closed on Sundays. They are located on 91 Kloofnek Road 8001 Tamboerskloof.

9. Coimbra

Our Copy Editor, Michelle Hardie, swears by Coimbra’s pecan nut pie, “it is so delicious and they don’t skimp on those pecan nuts!” she adds. They also make organic artisanal bread, a Banting range of bread, cheesecakes, gluten-free bread and cronuts, as well as many other treats.
Contact: 0216833083 or check out their Facebook page, Coimbra Bakery 
When to go: They are open from 7am to 5pm Monday to Friday and 7am to 3pm on weekends – including Sundays. They are located on 152 Imam Haron Road in Claremont.

10. Tessa’s bakery

From the red velvet cheesecake to the chocolate and carrot cheesecake right through to the new range of Over the Top cheesecakes, Tessa’s is making good old favourites great again. Their cupcakes are sold along their variety of cakes custom-made for each client.
Contact: tessasbakery.co.za, 0215516107
When to go: They are open Monday to Friday from 8am to 5pm and Saturdays from 8am to 2pm and closed on Sundays. They are located on Unit 5, The Gables, Prime Park on Printers Way in Montague Gardens.

11. Rosa’s

Rosa’s is a traditional bakery which not only offers oven-fresh products but good service.They are also a German bakery serving croissants, breads and others specialities. They have varieties of baked products that cater for breakfast, lunch or just for a sweet snack. They also offer lovely cakes and platters for different occasions.
Contact: 0214244467, rosasbakery@telkomsa.net
When to go: They are open Monday to Friday from 7am to 5pm and Saturdays from 7am to 2pm and closed on Sundays. They are located on 70a Shortmarket Street. You can also find us Saturday and Sunday on the Flea Market in Milnerton.

12. Hoghouse

http://www.instagram.com/p/BQpXU8xBfef/?taken-by=thehoghouse

Although this off-the-beaten-track spot specialises in beer, barbeque & bread, our Digital Content Manager, Kati Auld, swears by their pasteis de nata and says they’re well worth the drive. Ndabeni is a bit excluded from the activities and restaurants but there is a reasonable expectation that this spot might have brought some much needed life to the area. If you are not keen for the industrial vibe, then certainly head to their other branch at Spier wine farm in Stellenbosch where you’ll have the same menu in a more scenic vineyard set-up.
Contact: hhbc.co.za, 0218104545
When to visit: They are open from 5pm to 9pm Monday to Saturday and closed on Sundays. They are located 42 Morningside Street in Ndabeni.

Over to you:

What is your favourite bakery (whether included on this list or not) and what special dish from there do you recommend?

While most people shriek upon seeing a gecko, Samia Lila, 25, single-handedly dealt with its gargantuan cousin. The French waitress who is on a working holiday in Australia, took immediate action when a goanna crept into the restaurant. She has since been christened “Goanna girl” on Mimosa Wines’s Facebook page where the video can also be viewed.

Its sturdy tail can knock down small children and dogs and when panicked it will climb on humans, mistaking them for trees. Lila certainly took the unsuspecting lizard by surprise. It fought back like an inebriated friend who won’t leave the bar, but Lila’s resolve was greater. Here she is dragging the goanna like it’s no big deal.

Perpetual bleeding from a goanna bite was thought to be caused by an infection from bacteria residing in their mouths from carrion meals, but they do in fact have venomous glands. Thankfully, Lila emerged unscathed and the goanna also lived to tell the tail tale.

There’s no better way to travel Europe than by train. You get to skip the airport security lines (and lengthy check-in procedures), take as much baggage with as many liquids of your choosing (including your own minibar, if you like), and will arrive in the heart of the continent’s most celebrated cities within walking distance of your Old Town hotel.

But if that’s not enough to convince you of the glories of train travel, all you have to do to get some of the best views of the continent is to gently pivot your turn your neck to the window beside you. There are dozens of scenic routes throughout Europe, but here are five of the most photogenic:

1. GoldenPass Line – Lucerne to Montreux (Switzerland)

Photo by Andrew Thompson.

The GoldenPass line runs between Lucerne and Montreux and somehow still flies beneath the radar of Europe’s best scenic lines. This may be because it’s not a dedicated scenic line, but an important commuter route that stops in at dozens of cities and towns along the route. Which is precisely the reason you should be taking it.

Switzerland’s GoldenPass line is also cheaper than its compatriots, and is included in most rail passes at no extra cost. It whips you through a highlights package of the most clichéd Swiss sights in just a few hours. There are also several noteworthy destinations en-route, including Gstaad, Interlaken and Lauterbrunnen.

Regular trains run throughout the day, but time it correctly and you can ride aboard the panoramic train between Lucerne and Zweissemen, and then take a nostalgic trip down memory lane on the Classic train all the way to Lake Geneva.

Best direction: There’s no discernable difference between trains running Lucerne to Montreux, or Montreux to Lucerne
Best side to sit: Either
More information: goldenpass.ch

2. Bernina Express – Chur to Tirano (Switzerland)

Photo by Andrew Thompson.

The Bernina Express that runs between Chur and the Italian border may just be the best scenic Swiss train route of all time. It even gives the Glacier Express a run for its money.

The Bernina Express is a spotless narrow-gauge train with floor-to-ceiling windows so you can soak up the dramatic views. If you’re not concerned about the panoramic carriages and want to save some cash, there are also regular trains running throughout the day that follow the same route.

The ride is shorter than other legendary Swiss routes, but no less incredible. In fact, the entire route is now a UNESCO World Heritage site – when you see the engineering achievements and scenery around every single corner, you’ll understand why. You’ll cross dozens of bridges, including the famous spiral Brusio Spiral Viaduct, head up staggering mountain passes, alongside the purest glaciers, and have a slow descent all the way to the Italian border.

Many choose to return to Swiss soil almost immediately either by doing the trip in reverse, or hopping aboard the Bernina Express busses that skirt Italy’s Lake Como before arriving in Lugano three hours later. You’re also just a short ride away from Milan.

Best direction: No discernable difference in summer. In winter, southbound is the better option as the last few hours in the northbound train will be in darkness.
Best side to sit: Grab a seat on the right hand side if you’re travelling south for the best views.
More information: rhb.ch/en/panoramazuege/bernina-express

3. Montenegro Express – Bar to Belgrade (Montenegro and Serbia)

Photo by Andrew Thompson.

It’s unclear whether the train between Bar and Belgrade even has an official tourist name like those elsewhere in Europe. The few tourists who take the journey seem to call it the Montenegro Express; the daily commuters just call it life. What is clear, however, is that it doesn’t matter that this train lacks a slick name thought up by an overpaid marketing department.

This isn’t your glitzy scenic line packed full of foreign tourists stumbling the aisles. You’ll also be lucky to find a first class carriage, or any on-board services for that matter. It isn’t exactly a luxurious or particularly punctual service. But none of that will matter the moment you board the train in either Montenegro or Serbia.

The scenery, history, engineering and sense of adventure you’re treated to on board this route are unlike any other route on the continent. And the full fare for the 11-hour journey between the two cities, over hundreds of bridges and through hundreds of tunnels along seemingly impassable terrain, will cost you less than a reheated dining cart meal and a glass of wine in any of the other trains on this list.

Best direction: The morning train from Bar to Belgrade gets my vote – you’ll travel through the best Montenegrin scenery in daylight and save the darkness for the Serbian suburbs.
Best side to sit: Make sure you sit on the left side travelling from Bar to Belgrade.
More information: Not surprisingly, there is no official website or suitable online booking option, but the Wikipedia page has some good info.

4. Rhine Valley – Bingen to Koblenz (Germany)

Sunset in Mainz. ———- #Mainz #Germany

A post shared by Andrew Thompson (@andrewthompsonsa) on Mar 21, 2016 at 2:31am PDT

Germany’s Rhine Valley route may be short, but it’s also the sweetest journey in the country. It officially runs between the quaint towns of Bingen and Koblenz, but you can extend your journey in either direction.

The Rhine Valley is littered with tiny picturesque towns, cliff-side medieval castles and pristine vineyards, and the train ride offers perfect views of all. At times it feels as if you’re floating along the river itself on a carefully constructed grownup theme park ride of sorts.

The route is only about 100 kilometres long, but there’s a staggering amount of charm built in around every corner. If you want to prolong the journey, make sure you pick the train with regular stops en-route, or hop off at a little village that captures your imagination and sample a cold glass Riesling at source.

Best direction: Both directions are much the same
Best side to sit: You’ll want to be on the river side – this is on the right hand side on the south to north journey.
More information: www.bahn.de

5. Glacier Express – Zermatt to St Moritz (Switzerland)

Photo by Andrew Thompson.

Unfortunately, the Swiss are just too good at railways not to bag another spot on this list. The Glacier Express is a top contender for the best scenic rail line in Europe on most criteria – comfort, efficiency, views, facilities and even starting and ending destinations.

It traces a route through some of the country’s most dramatic scenery, between two of Switzerland’s most beautiful and pretentious winter resorts of Zermatt and St. Moritz. It is equally impressive during summer.

You can expect all the Swiss rail comforts imaginable on board this surprisingly slow train. Massive glass windows rise from your waist to as high as you can crane your neck – perfect for catching glimpses of those Swiss mountain tops. In first class you’ll get served at your seat with a real cutlery and crockery, an actual table cloth and glasses of the finest European wines. Though you’ll pay heavily.

Of course, like me, you can also politely refuse the service and pull out a sandwich pilfered from the hotel breakfast buffet to accompany the 99-cent can of beer you bought at the supermarket earlier that day. You may receive some down-the-nose glances from your fellow passengers and the napkin-carrying waiters, because it’s that kind of journey, but when you remember the financial sacrifices you’re making (a first-class one-way fare for the seven-and-a-half hour journey costs close to R4000), you probably shouldn’t care.

Best direction: Both directions offer equal views and travel in daylight throughout the year.
Best side to sit: Westbound your best bet is probably to sit on the left-hand side, but be prepared for the river views on the left hand side when you enter the Rhine Gorge.
More information: glacierexpress.ch

Scenic train rides are not hard to find in Europe. Most train journeys offer moments of brilliance, and even the blandest routes hold surprises. Though some of these may cost a small fortune, if you arm yourself with a Swiss Rail or Eurail Pass and plan ahead, there’s no reason why you can’t tick at least one of these legendary European rail routes off your bucket list. The bad news is, once you do, you’ll stop at nothing for your next hit.

Follow my travels on Instagram for more: @andrewthompsonsa

The Western Cape’s largest travel, outdoor and adventure event, the Cape Getaway Show is returning to Lourensford Wine Estate from 31 March to 2 April 2017 and I couldn’t be more excited for my very first Cape Getaway Show. From live music, beer tent, a variety of stand exhibitors and a wine village – this year’s show promises an eclectic mix of a fun weekend in a scenic set-up.

If you are looking for an excuse to come and join us for this fantastic weekend, here my top 12 reasons for why you should get excited for the Cape Getaway Show and start stashing a few cents aside to take advantage of the awesome specials.

1. A scenic environment

The Cape Getaway Show will be hosted at the beautiful Lourensford Wine Estate in Somerset West. Beyond the fantastic line-up of events on the various days, the beautiful wine estate is a good enough reason to come out to play or hang out with us. You will be surrounded by the hills and the luscious greenery of the vineyard.

2. Live music and Beer Tent

In this beautiful set-up, we will also have a beer tent along with live music for a more vibrant vibe. Walking around the wine estate, enjoying a drink or two and shopping makes for the best way to spend your weekend. Come and enjoy the mellow tunes of some of Cape Town’s most well-known artists while sipping on an ice cold beer.

3. Enjoy delicious and local cuisines

With a variety of artisanal food stands, you can never run short of good food at the Getaway Show. Buy or taste some local and unique cuisines, ranging from pastries, pancakes and sauces – with the variety on offer, you are advised to let your taste buds loose on a food adventure to discover unique flavours of local food, wine and beer. There is also the Travel and Taste Theatre, with scheduled demonstrations by well known chefs who will offer opportunities to taste their delicious wares.

4. Try out mountain biking with family and friends

The Cape Getaway Show Mountain Bike Challenge, sponsored by Sportsmans Warehouse, is the perfect opportunity to pedal with your family and friends. If you are a bit of a pro cyclist, by all means take part in the 40km ride for R300.

However, if like me you’ve only recently started cycling, then join me on the 20km that’s ideal for novice cyclists. Otherwise feel free to enter the whole family in the 5km ride for R50. The bonus? If you enter the race you will receive a free ticket for you and a partner to the Show. For more information and prices visit our Facebook page.

5. Enjoy a scenic trail run

On the final morning of the Cape Getaway Show, join fellow runners on the 13 km Lourensford Getaway Trail Runthat’s sponsored by Sportsman’s Warehouse through the picturesque Lourensford Wine Estate. The trail run costs cost R100 per person, and it also includes free entry to the Show for the runner plus partner. For more information, visit our Facebook page.

6. Sip on wine in the Wine Village

It is no secret that the Cape is home to some of the finest out there, and at the Show you will have the opportunity to sample and purchase some of the Cape’s best wines in the Normam Goodfeller Wine Village. For only R10 you get a tasting glass and 12 tasting coupons.

7. Get a thrill from our adventure activities

If you’d like something else to do other than Mountain Biking or the trail run, don’t worry. There will be plenty of opportunity for other adrenalin pumping adventures during the show ranging from Archery, Corn Hole and others. Adrenalin junkies will not run in short supply of activities at the show.

8. Bring the kids for a fun day out

Kids will have a blast on the various rides in the Spur Kids Area. Activities in the kid’s area will include the parachute rocket, bungee, go-karts and swings. In addition to the fun kids are guaranteed to have at the Show, kids under 12 will also get in for free. So come out and bring your young ones for a family affair that will have something for everyone.

9. Explore the latest and coolest travel gear

With a variety of 200 exhibitors, you are guaranteed to find the latest models from all kinds of gear – from camping gear, caravanning, to scuba gear – there is going to be so much awesome stuff to discover.

10. Special deals on almost everything!

Take advantage of the great show specials and discounts at many of the exhibition stands. Most of the exhibitors offer great discounts and special offers that you can only get at the Show – and you’ll be kicking yourself when you see the same thing advertised at full price a week later!

11. Loads of prizes to be won

Try your luck in the great competitions on offer. There is a variety of giveaways and competitions from various exhibitors, so don’t make the mistake of not entering the competitions. There is a grand prize of an incredible getaway for 5 Nights at Solana Beach Resort in Mauritius for 2 adults, with flights included – and these competitions can only be entered at the Show, so don’t make the mistake of missing out.

12. Shop ’til you drop at the Getaway Market

The market offers crafts including bags, clothing, jewellery and preserves. Considering that this is an annual event, exhibitors bring out their finest products and the special offers on the day. I hereby give you permission to treat-yo-self and shop ’til you drop because these specials don’t come around often.

Show Dates and times

Friday 31 March 10am- 6pm
Saturday 1 April 9am- 6pm
Sunday 2 April 9am- 5pm

Tickets

Kids Under 12 are free – At the door only
Students / Pensioners – R40
Adults Friday – R50
Adults Saturday and Sunday – R80 (After 3pm -R50)
Family Package R150 (Family of four)
Book your ticket here now!
For more information how to get there, check out directions on our Cape Getaway Show here.

Seychelles is one of those places that I’d love people to see at least once in their lives. It’s as beautiful as the postcards make it out to be, and has a local culture and work environment that South Africans seem to love – judging by how many have chosen to live there permanently. For our March 2017 issue, writer Caroline Webb and I got the excuse to explore parts of this gorgeous island archipelago.

It’s also notorious for being expensive, if you go the typical hotel route. We discovered ways to make your trip more affordable, but without missing out on any of the experiences that make for lifetime memories.  Read how we did it in the latest issue of Getaway magazine, out on shelves now.

Our first sunset, at the aptly named Sunset Beach.

Early morning swims and afternoon cocktails- that’s how you fill a day in the Seychelles.

Baobab Pizzeria. Service is somewhat slack but food and location are spot on.

Sunset strolls along the popular beach of Beau Vallon.

Coconut nibbles as we drove around Mahe.

A dip in the ocean to cool off amidst boats bobbing in the bay.

The picturesque Cap Lazare.

Onwards by ferry to La Digue, an island of bicycles, granite boulders and palms.

The incredibly beautiful beach of Anse Source d’Argent.

Cycling along palm-lined roads.

Fruit cocktails on the beach at Anse Source d’Argent.

We took an unexpected evening walk from Anse Source d’Argent back to our hotel, after a miscommunication with our taxi driver.

Arguably the best view site on La Digue is high up above the town, where a restaurant serves drinks and food to those that make the trek.

These kids entertained us while we ate a late lunch on the beach

Here’s a quick timelapse of the sun going down from this same view spot. Colours get stronger as the sun sets, deepening in saturation to orange and blue before light disappears for the night.

You cycle past beautiful, clear blue water on La Digue Island

Slow days on La Digue’s pristine beaches

I took an early-morning bicycle ride to a deserted Anse Source d’Argent, where hues of purple and blue greeted the new day.

Some of the famous attractions of the Seychelles – Takamaka rum, Frangipani flowers and the Coco de Mer

Anse Lazio on Praslin Island is voted one of the top beaches n the world, and it’s easy to agree when you’re lying underneath palm fronds and watching people swim in transparent waters.

We booked a boat cruise to visit the giant tortoises on Curieuse Island, have a beach braai and snorkel off Chauve Souris islet.

The snorkelling off Chauve Souris islet was gorgeous – I saw a turtle, rays, two small black-tipped sharks and clouds upon clouds of small fish.

This swim pretty much consisted of me seeing amazing fish and regretting not having a GoPro.

Still evening waters at Anse Kerlan in Praslin. These two boys had helped push out their father’s boat for nighttime fishing.

A quiet moment’s fishing as the sun set over Anse Kerlan beach.

Anse Forbans was one of my favourite places. The water was deep and cool, and the walk along the beach lead to a lovely spit of land jutting into the sea, ideal for sundowners.

Saturday afternoons at Beau Vallon are for gatherings: groups played volleyball and families set up around picnics while I discovered how great SUP paddling over clear waters can be.

A last, fiery sunset on Sunset Beach, looking out in the direction of Beau Vallon.

Read more from this story in the March 2017 issue of Getaway magazine.

Get this issue →

Our March issue features a self-catering trip to the Seychelles that you can afford, a secret Karoo retreat, learning to fly-fish in Rhodes and a Joburg road trip for beer lovers. 

In a remote region of northern Madagascar, Tyson Jopson joined 23 runners from around the world on a one-of-a-kind race that merges the toughness of trail running with the rewards of travel.

Earlier this year I learned of the total distance covered in the world’s longest official ultra-marathon. It’s just shy of 5 000 kilometres. That is not the most staggering thing about it. The entire course spans a city block in Queens, New York. To complete it, athletes lap the block 5 649 times. The record holder is a 44-year-old Finnish courier named Ashprihanal Aalto who, in 2015, completed the ‘neighbourhood dash’ in 40 days and nine hours.

I’m suspicious of people like this. Finland might not be the most riveting place in the world to live but why would anyone from there (or anywhere else) want to fly to New York, pay for a hotel, catch the subway at least twice and pay an extortionate amount of money for a disappointing cream cheese bagel at least once, to go pound the same bit of pavement every day? It’s an awful lot of money to go somewhere new and then not explore it. Or at least explore only the bits between 164th and 168th Street.

Perhaps it was with that knowledge, tucked away in a reservoir of pub-quiz information along with the density of Saturn (687kg/m3), that I leapt at the chance to cover a foot race that promised a little more than sidewalk scenery: a six-day, 150-kilometre never-been-done-before stage race in one of the most remote regions of the world’s fourth largest island – Madagascar. The largest (since we’re filling that info reservoir together now) is Greenland. I’m told it’s somewhat less tropical, though. Twenty-three runners from around the world thought it was a good idea too.

I meet the first of them inside the restaurant of hotel Relais de Plateaux, on a tattered northern edge of Antananarivo, dark with gunmetal grey clouds that soak up the sounds of the urban sprawl. Now listen properly: if ever you find yourself in the company of someone who tells you that they completed the Otter Trail in four-and-a-half hours, know that they leave you no option but to tell them to shut their filthy lying mouth. Because just a handful of people have managed that. And one of them is Thabang Madiba. At 32 years old, Thabang is a South African long-distance trail running champion and billed by some (though I’m loathe to use these kinds of comparisons) as ‘the next Ryan Sandes’. Now here’s an athlete, I think. Though the grey tracksuit pants, blue Salomon soft shell and matching trainers he’s chosen as his dinner outfit does little to disguise that. Thabang smiles and, with a voice that barely rises above the bread basket between us, says, ‘I wasn’t perfect in one or two places. I could maybe do it quicker.’

LEFT, Malagasy athlete Romuald Jaoriziki skips down a technical descent near Irodo River; RIGHT, Even Thabang’s shoes look fast.

The following day, after a two-hour flight above an island that melts from fertile highlands into gnarled brown folds and tropical scrub, I meet the other runners on the balcony of the hotel La Terrasse du Voyageurs in Antsiranana. Formerly Diego Suarez (prior to 1975), this bayside town was once coveted by the British who tried to muscle out Vichy French during World War II. Today it hums with New York-yellow tuk-tuks that weave between a Seuss-like farrago of wooden corner stores and pastel-coloured buildings no more than five or six storeys high. On side streets, loose items of laundry duel like Afghan kites and the smell of burnt rice, carbon and bargain fill the air.  It is also a playground peninsula for tourists and, I’m told, a place where pasty old Italian men bring their retirement euros and rent hotel rooms for months and pretend to live like kings.

They forget that this is Africa – a continent that has learnt how to deal with that kind of scourge. Here, they’re swooned into buying houses and lavish gifts for local women who promise them the world and chase them home when they’re dry.

On the balcony of La Terrasse du Voyageurs I’m glad to discover that this is not just a race for the ultra fast or ultra fit. It is impossible to mention everyone, but among the not-so-elite foreigners is Luis Rene Menendez, a 72-year-old Argentinian who looks a little like the writer Jorge Luis Borges, just more cheerful. His partner Delores is not running. She spends the days visiting the national parks and highlights of the Diana region, returning each afternoon with gorgeous photos and a face less flushed than his.

The view from the balcony of La Terrasse du Voyageurs in Antsiranana. From here it’s a short tuk-tuk ride (about R5) to the city centre, which hums at night.

There’s Marcus Fong (39), an IT technician from Macau who plans to run all six of the World Marathon Majors (Tokyo, London, Boston, Berlin, Chicago, New York). He’s taken leave for this event, but tells me that he’s had to buy a local sim card and airtime should there be any urgent IT queries at work. I tell him that I think ‘Have you tried turning it off and on again?’ would make for a great voicemail. He doesn’t laugh.

There’s Steven Paul Halton (35), an Englishman who has cycled the length of Africa and has a pair of calves that look like two watermelons strapped to hockey sticks. And Yannick Dinmamod, a 32-year-old Frenchman who sells auto parts in Antananarivo. And then there is Gavin Sacks (49), a compatriot from Johannesburg who saw an ad in Runner’s World magazine and who, when quizzed on why he joined, simply said: ‘Looked cool, somewhere new, I thought why not?’

Of the Malagasy contingent that makes up much of the field, many are very fast. There is Laurette Rasoarinomena (28), a runner from Toliara, Heritiana Andrianaivo (28) from Antananarivo and Revelinot Raherinandrasana (38), who has just one arm. He will, after the race, go on to place 10th in the men’s 1500m in the Paralympic Games in Rio, only the second Malagasy in history to compete in an Olympic final.

The local athletes – friendly and very, very fast.

And there is also Zephirin Zimazava (37) who is blind. He will run almost every stage with one arm on his friend and guide’s shoulder. Step by awkward step they will cross rivers, clamber over rocks and, fuelled by a stream of constant audio and physical communication, sail through fields. What I discover that night about this mishmash of humans, aside from a love of running and the bravery to sign up for something that’s never been done before, is that they all love the idea of being somewhere new.

And so here we are, somewhere new: a plateau above Beamolana Waterfall, a pinstripe of white water cascading into a small volcanic lake a few kilometres east of the village of Anivorano, a bumpy three-hour drive south of Antsiranana. It’s the first day of Racing Madagascar and the long grass glows golden in the early morning sunshine and the sky is big and full of promise. Beneath a red- and green-striped banner, 23 runners wait for the starter’s orders. Ahead of them, a barely distinguishable zebu (cattle) path of flattened grass, trampled into the dirt, winds its way towards the horizon. Nobody has run here before. The race begins.

Heritiana surges ahead, pausing only to morph into a Super Mario Brother at the first (of many) river crossings before hopping from stone to stone without breaking his stride. A string of seven Malagasy athletes, and Thabang, follow. I don’t see them again until the finish line, 20 kilometres later. And here I should probably tell you how I am getting around. I am aboard a Honda XT400, led by French-speaking guide François Serrano, camera gear and notepad in a waterproof bag strapped to my back. My plan is to buzz from checkpoint to checkpoint to photograph the runners for the first four days. Then, on day five, I will swap riding boots for running shoes and run the 28-kilometre stage with them.

It will be the furthest I’ve ever run in one go.

This was the view from the starting line of the inaugural Racing Madagascar trail race – above the Beamolana Waterfall in the Diana Region.

Day one takes Heritiana an hour and a half. Narcisse Zithaniel (19) finishes a close second and Thabang is third. Zephirin crosses the line with his guide three hours later. That afternoon some of us head into Anivorano to check out the market. We eat fresh fruit, drink warm Coca-Cola and watch bicycles crammed with baguettes weave between old Renault 4Ls while chickens dart for their lives. That evening, back at our campsite, I take stock of the operation. It takes two large Kosovos and a fleet of five 4x4s to transport the camp between each day’s finish line. There are canvas tents, bucket showers and pit loos walled by palm fronds and always positioned with the best views. There is a kitchen area, buzzing and simmering with activity, and two palm-bedecked wooden shelters with long benches beneath them, where we will eat. This is more than a mobile village, this is a military-scale operation.

Pit loos and great views – this is what a self-sufficient stage race in one of the island’s most remote regions looks like. I call it bliss.

For the next three days, the route creeps slowly north-east and the stage winners chop and change between the locals. The pace is formidable but Thabang is always close… never more than a minute or two behind the winner. Mornings are bright and hot and the afternoons brighter, and hotter. On the second day, athletes around a volcanic lake brimming with crocodiles and pass herdsmen bellowing at their zebu herds. On the third, they cross the Irodo River, a torrent that splits two villages and feeds a green and brown chessboard of rice fields below.

This laterite canyon, which forms the centrepiece of Tsingy Rouge national park, was created over centuries by erosion and chemical weathering.

The next day runners traverse large canyons of rust-red mineral spires that reach for the skies. One day it becomes so hot that a patch on François’ motorcycle tube delaminates, and I leave him to repair it as I chase down the leaders in the hope of getting a shot of them at the finish. On another, one of the Kosovos breaks down five kilometres from the finish line and staff walk the rest of the way for help. The days are unbelievably tough. But the nights are invigorating. There is good food and music, either country and western rattling out from a cellphone, or djembe drums and a guitar, played in turn by the locals and accompanied by Malagasy lyrics that float up at the ends like butterflies. Lunches are verlepde baguettes, baked by the sun. Dinners are rice, zebu skewers and fish. And there are coconuts, first sucked dry and then hacked in two for the flesh. One evening Gavin, Yannick and I wander into a nearby village in Ankerika and share a quart of THB (Three Horse Beer) and stand awkwardly in our tracksuits while a generator-powered DJ booth fuels an open-air party.

Making music with Morisse Morisse, Housseny Nasser and Herve Djaonoro.

On the fourth night Yannick tells me that there are two kinds of chickens in Madagascar. Akoho gasy is the kind you’ll find in most markets – lean and spry from spending its days dodging rickshaws and eating whole grains wherever it can find them. And then there is the Occidental kind. It spends most of its time indoors; its food comes in packaging, concocted so as to expand its waistline without much thought for its bloodline. It gets a little exercise here and there and if prodded will wobble and cluck, but get running eventually. And then it’s the fifth day and I am the second chicken. I am not unfit but I’ve always needed some goading to get my running shoes on, and my diet is more bacon than a banana. But I have trained, somewhat, for this day and afoot, with a hydration pack filled with nuts and an extra pair of socks, I quickly find a good stride. Too good.

For the first 12 kilometres I settle in behind Marcus at a pace that’s well beyond my means. In his wake I sink into the sand on Ampondrafeta Beach, tiptoe over muddy channels and cruise along a Jeep track to the first checkpoint. There, exhausted, I tell Marcus in a scene that resembles a bad action movie to ‘Go on without me!’ And so he does, and I don’t see him again until camp that afternoon.

Marcus Fong travelled the furthest to be at the race. He lives in Macau, had great pace and a seemingly endless supply of freeze-dried snacks in his bag. He was my running mate for half of the 28-km stage on Day 4 that I ran. Then he buggered off leaving me to run the rest shouting in agony at the empty heavens.

To tell you about the next 16 kilometres is to tell you what any runner will tell you about running. It was the full gamut of emotions. After the pain and self-doubt comes reasoning (just eight more kays to the next checkpoint, you’re basically halfway), bargaining (one more kilometre and you can have a break) and then bullying (come on, you little wimp! People fought wars in army boots and ran further).

But there were other moments too. Moments that some will tell you are the most exhilarating you’ll feel as a human being inside its own body. Moments when pleasure and suffering become one and the distinctions between yourself and the world blur. The long hours on the road, early mornings and nights out missed with friends pay off and you’re cruising, a missile above a set of limbs like two pistons extending and returning in time with your breath, propelling you forward. That hardly ever happened. What mostly happened was the inability to think at all.

Each day presented runners with new terrain: from red canyons to secluded beaches and even a baobab forest (not that common in northern Madagascar, I discovered).

In What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, the author Haruki Murakami talks about running in a void. On cold days, he writes, ‘I guess I think about how cold it is … and about the heat on hot days.’ But for the most part, when asked what he thinks about, he says, ‘I don’t have a clue.’ I think many people run in order to find this void. For some, like me, I’m certain that state is achieved by your mind simply blacking out due to overwhelming suffering. For others, it’s probably more esoteric. Regardless, I ran much of that day almost entirely oblivious of my surroundings. It did not matter whether I was here, in a remote region of Madagascar, or in New York pounding the same square block of pavement. Inside the void was just myself, the sound of my breath and my shoes on the earth.

Perhaps I got too much sun, but that day the lunacy of long-distance athletes such as Ashprihanal Aalto made sense. The difference is that here, on this island, it’s more than just running. It’s also about the moments gleaned in recovery beneath dried palm fronds, learning a foreign language and laughing like friends while music plays and the light fades behind an emerald bay and there’s nobody but you and your new comrades around.

Thabang Madiba, one of South Africa’s top trail runners, rounds a secluded bay on the second-to-last day. He didn’t have it all it his own way against the locals.

Thabang crosses the finish line first that day: a red and green banner pegged into the sand on a quiet beach with kite surfers blazing towards the sun in the background and a lone timekeeper with a clipboard clocking him in. He has won the race, his race craft prevailing over the sheer bloody-mindedness of the Malagasy athletes. The next day, a seven-kilometre dash past Pain de Sucre into Antsiranana is a formality, the last stretch accompanied by wheelchair athletes to whom proceeds from this event go. That evening Thabang raises a silver totem, the trophy, as the winner of the inaugural Racing Madagascar. Laurette wins the women’s trophy and Gavin, to his surprise, picks up an award for the first veteran, just beating out Luis with an overall time of 23 hours and 26 minutes. Twelve hours behind Thabang.

‘I guess it pays to be a part of an inaugural event,’ Gavin jokes, ‘even I get a prize.’ But it’s not like he just turned up. He, like everyone else, trained for this. And if the psychologists are to be believed when they say a significant part of the enjoyment of travel is the part where you prepare for it, then for Gavin, the experience begins long before the plane touches down. And sometimes at the end of it is a place so exciting and beautiful, and challenging. A place that’s worth getting outside and pounding your own bit of pavement for, wherever in the world that is.

Plan Your Trip

Getting there

I flew return with SA Airlink from Johannesburg to Antananarivo. Flights are from R9500. From there, Air Madagascar flies to Antsiranana from R3500 return. There are just five aircraft that service the island so delays and cancellations are frequent. Allow yourself enough time between connections. In fact, give yourself a buffer day on each side of your trip, just to be safe. There are also direct flights from Johannesburg to Nosy Be, further north, with Airlink. From R13500 return. flyairlink.com, airmadagascar.com

Need to know

South Africans can get a visa on arrival. It costs R380. There are working ATMs in some major centres but card facilities are rare. It’s best to carry ariary, the local currency. Change your rands into euro before you fly and then convert that into ariary on arrival. The climate is tropical but malaria is rare.

Racing Madagascar

The next edition of Racing Madagascar takes place from 11 – 16 July 2017. The entrance fee is R23000 per runner and covers all accommodation, meals and transport from Antsiranana to and from the finish line. It does not cover flights. Participants are required to bring all their own gear and necessary extra nutrition. It’s a semi self-sufficient race and while your bags are transported and sustenance is provided at the checkpoints, you are on your own for most of the race. It may not just be for the ultra fast and ultra fit but you do need to train and be in good health. It’s still 150 kilometres over six days, you know. racing-madagascar.com

Supporters package

The unique aspect of this race is that there is a full travel itinerary for supporters. Each day is spent with a guide, exploring the highlights of the region before meeting up with the runners every afternoon. It’s a great option for those who want to bring their families, partners or friends. It costs from R17500 per person and includes all meals, accommodation, transfers to and from camps in a 4×4, guides and entrance fees to the national parks. boogieevents-madagascar.com

Do this

(All prices below are included in the supporters package).

Explore Tsingy Rouge Park, an incredible rust-red canyon carved out by the Irodo River. The rock formations look like stalagmites, shaped by wind and water. It is not a national park so there is no entrance fee but a guide is required and costs from R180 per day. evasionsansfrontiere.com

Eat Akoho Gasy (chicken) in Anivorano. There’s a market every Tuesday from 8am until 1pm (though it goes on until much later). From R15 a piece.

Visit Amber Mountain National Park. It’s home to the leaf chameleon (Brookesia tubercular), the smallest in the world. The park is only accessible on foot and there is a range of walks from five to 15 kilometres that wind their way past volcanic lakes and sacred waterfalls. Park entrance is R300 per person and there is a mandatory guide fee of R180 per day. parcs-madagascar.com

Climb French Mountain, a strategic military position during World War II. It’s a fairly strenuous three-hour loop but the views over the bay are spectacular. There is no entrance fee but it’s mandatory to go with a guide. From R180 for the entire hike. evasionsansfrontiere.com

Stay here

La Terrasse des Voyageurs was the accommodation for the first and last night of the race. Rooms are neat but it’s what I like to call an ‘either or’ hotel. I either had hot water or electricity, but never both. From R200 for two and from R50 per person for breakfast. terrasseduvoyageur-hotel.com

Rice is the island’s staple food. Grown in striking green waterlogged fields, it was introduced by Indonesian and Malaysian settlers more than 1 000 years ago.

The Tankwa Karoo is full of surprises. On every visit, I discover something new. Most recently, with some time to test drive Toyota’s new Fortuner 2.8 GD-6 4×4 Automatic, I headed for the hills on a day loop from Ceres to Die Mond campsite to drive two lesser-known gravel passes that have been on my radar for years.

Karoo-road cruising in the new Toyota Fortuner

Ouberg Pass

A short drive up the R46 from Ceres got me onto the long gravel R355 north, notorious in this part of the Karoo for its pitiless appetite for tyres. I’d been lucky in the past. This time, just outside Tankwa Padstal, my luck ran out. But, plugged and pumped with the help of padstal owner Hein Lange, I was back on the undulating gravel, bounding north and then north-west at the sign for Tankwa Karoo National Park, along the southern bank of the bone-dry Tankwa River, then over it and onto Ouberg Pass. One of the first-ever routes up the Roggeveld plateau, this gorgeous gravel road doubles back on itself, climbing ever higher with each view back over the gnarled Karoo better than the last.

The turnoff to Sutherland at the top of Ouberg Pass

Getting the right pressure back in the plugged tyre; plenty of boot space in the Fortuner

Gannaga Pass

With the mercury nudging 36 degrees, it was windows up and climate control on as I crested the plateau, took a left at Twee Riviere Farm and set my sights on Middelpos. Passing farms with bleating sheep that sound like humans imitating sheep, the road was a mix of hard-pack, gravel and soft-but-shallow sand beds. After Middelpos the sun began its slow roll towards the horizon and I reached the hot crust of Gannaga Pass. Shorter than Ouberg, this little gem of tight switchbacks and severe edges pulled me back down, steeply, into the heart of Tankwa. At the foot of the pass, I pointed the Fortuner south and zigzagged through the Tankwa Karoo National Park passing pronking springboks and back briefly onto the R355, then west to Die Mond campsite. There, I had just enough time to cool off in the lake, throw a few choppies on the flames and relive the best bends before the night grew cold, the moon full and my head sleepy.

Two passes, one awesome ride

Descending Gannaga Pass

Tip: While neither of these passes is strictly 4×4 (a high-clearance vehicle will get you through), I found the Fortuner’s DAC (Downhill Assist Control) in 4H gave me the perfect speed to descend Gannaga without having to drag the brake too much – more control, better safety.

Toyota Fortuner 2.8 GD-6 4×4 Automatic
Engine 4-cylinder turbo diesel
Gearbox 6-speed automatic
Seats 7 Fuel tank 80l
Consumption 7,8l/100km (claimed combined)
Price R617 900 (includes 3-year/100 000km warranty and 5-year/90 000km service plan)

Travel Planner

Need to know

It’s a 540km round trip from Ceres, so make sure you have enough diesel. You won’t get any en route. Access through Tankwa Karoo National Park is currently free if you’re not staying over, but call ahead in case things change. 0273411927, sanparks.org

Tankwa Padstal

Do this

Loer in at Tankwa Padstal. The faces are friendly, the colas cold, and you might even get the recipe for Hein’s beetroot and cacao shooter, said to knock you for six. hlange@breede.co.za

The campsite at Die Mond

Stay here

Die Mond is a superb, well-shaded campsite set on a small lake that seeps out from the Doring River. Camping is R70 per person. Cash only. 0233170668

The Toyota Fortuner 2.8 GD-6 4×4 Automatic

Overall impressions

I’ve always loved the utilitarian Hilux, and the Toyota Fortuner 2.8 GD-6 4×4 Automatic still gives you the feel of that powerhouse, albeit inside a plusher cockpit with better road manners. The transmission is smoother than previous models and while I prefer using the manual transmission in most off-road situations, the response time and power delivery of the automatic box in 4H and 4L was sufficient.

I did encounter some turbo lag and, on occasion, felt the transmission could be a bit sharper, but it’s a monster on sand and an adept climber over loose terrain. The improved suspension does a top job of dealing with bigger bumps and undulations but I found the long wheelbase made it a little skittish over corrugations at higher speeds. A simple solution, of course, was to take it easy on those Karoo gravel roads. Corrugations aside, there are other dangers and if you’re rushing in that part of the country, then you’re doing it wrong. All in all, the Toyota Fortuner 2.8 GD-6 4×4 Automatic is still a great mix of SUV beauty and off-road beast, evident in its continued popularity with the SA market.

Bright afternoons in a hot Karoo

What’s the deal with Eco Mode?

With a discussion of the Toyota Fortuner’s Eco Mode missing from many car reviews, I thought I’d take a moment to address it here. Fuel economy and large-volume, big-torque engines have long since been at odds (for obvious reasons: more power generally means more fuel), but I’m a big fan of Toyota’s move to consolidate those two concepts with its Eco Mode setting. On the new Fortuner 2.8 GD–6 4×4 Automatic, that’s executed by less aggressive fuel mapping, a restriction on overall power (75% at full use) as well as a handful of other mods.

Not everyone is a fan, with some lamenting the longer throttle response times and a generally claiming that it’s not all that economical unless you drive it with a conscious effort to reduce fuel. And that’s precisely why I love it. You need to drive economically for the Eco Mode to make sense. Instead of flooring it at the traffic lights, I found myself easing onto the throttle, maintaining decent cruising speeds and being less erratic with the controls because I was looking further ahead to anticipate traffic conditions.

Initially that was to keep the eco bars (displayed beneath the clocks) down, but it quickly turned into an exercise in creating a smoother drive for myself and passengers. Eventually that sort of pre-emptive driving in urban areas felt normal (and easy) and the reward was much-improved consumption figures and, over the longterm, will result in reduced wear and tear on brakes and transmission. It’s obvious in retrospect: abusing the gas pedal isn’t going to save you fuel, regardless of what mode you drive any vehicle in. To take economy seriously, take your input seriously. That’s where I found Eco Mode plays along perfectly and profits duly. And, when I needed power, it was easy enough to shift to ‘Power Mode’ and get myself out of any perceived trouble. I don’t expect everyone to agree with that, just to consider it.

A question we get asked a lot is: what’s it like to work at Getaway? We have lots of stories of trips wonderful and wonky. In our ‘Inside Getaway’ column every month, our deputy editor shares stories from behind the scenes. This one is from the March 2017 issue.

Sunset at La Digue, Seychelles. Photo by Teagan Cunniffe.

You don’t see all that many gigs advertised for honeymoon photographers. Weddings, sure. Birthdays, yeah. Corporate events, all the time. But for life’s more personal moments, most of us would prefer not having a photographer pop out from some nearby shrubbery, take aim and snap the latest addition to their much-anticipated Deer in the Headlights: Couples Edition portfolio.

Nowhere, aside from gossip rags, do those lines cross more than in travel photography. Public spaces contain people (mind-blowing, I know) and while we’ll always ask for permission to take someone’s portrait, getting a release from everyone between your lens and the Taj Mahal is a little trickier. Adjunct to that, our quest to bring you unique perspectives and uncover ‘secret’ spots sometimes collides with others’ quest to find a place as far away from people as possible.

Teagan Cunniffe discovered this while shooting a story in the Seychelles, an island I’d always thought was exclusively occupied by honeymooners. Turns out (see page 70) it’s a fine place to go whether you’re attached, resolutely unbound or recently severed. Still, every year thousands of honeymooners are lured in by its powder-white beaches, warm water, secret coves and two very naughty words: package deal. ‘Authentic’ travellers will turn their noses up at the notion, but they’re lying to themselves if they say the phrase ‘all inclusive’ doesn’t send a little hedonistic tingle down their spines. I got goosebumps just typing that.

I imagine Seychelles to be the kind of place where those package options are endless: ‘Hi. Yes we’d like the Honeymoon Plus package, the all-you-can-eat buffet and two secret-cove experiences, please.’

‘No problem. Unfortunately the Krauthammers in Room 208 have booked the secret cove for sunrise. How about the sunset slot? Here’s a map.’

On this particular day, on the small island of La Digue, it was a French couple who got that proverbial sunset slot. And as it happened Teagan was converging on the very same spot, driven by something more ethereal than love even: dusk.

Now if there’s one thing you should know about photographers, it’s that something very strange happens to them when the light turns pink and soft. They lose all common sense and morph into black ops combatants. They can hurtle over jagged rocks in slops at tremendous speed and clear entire bays in a single stride, all with one eye firmly pressed to their viewfinder while rattling off the shutter like machine-gun fire. Anyone between them and the last rays of light becomes Canon fodder – immortalised in print as a nameless, faceless silhouette. This is how I imagine Teagan arrived at said cove, around the same time that Monsieur and Madame Package Deal began swimming out towards the endless horizon that one of them was no doubt comparing to their endless love.

As if the presence of a photographer wasn’t enough, Teagan pulled out a secret weapon that would kill the mood quicker than spinach in the teeth: a new drone. It rose from behind two boulders like a military chopper, blades whirring and navigation lights flashing like there’d been some sort of crime. Using all of her thumbs and not all that much of her prudence, she steered the offending aircraft out to sea beyond the couple, who had in that time moved straight from shock to archetypal French contempt.

And then the drone did something that 100% of helicopters do in movies. It fell out of the sky. And into the drink. (The problem was later diagnosed as a dispute between the controller and its operator.) And then the couple laughed, which I guess means there’s only one thing more satisfying than swimming in a secluded cove with your new bae. And that’s watching a brazen photographer fish a soggy drone out of the Indian Ocean.

This story first appeared in the March 2017 issue of Getaway magazine.

Get this issue →

Our March issue features a self-catering trip to the Seychelles that you can afford, a secret Karoo retreat, learning to fly-fish in Rhodes and a Joburg road trip for beer lovers. 

The gorgeous town of Zinkwazi is close to Durban and has wide unspoilt beaches. It brims and hums during the holidays, and out of season it’s a paradise of tranquillity, writes photojournalist Chris Davies.

Zinkwazi’s right hand point break is suitable for surfers of all levels.

I don’t usually order pizza at 11am, but it was an unusual morning and, besides, I had nothing better to do. Sunshine sparkled on a receding wave and fluffy cumulus drifted serenely overhead, but I was in a mood, and not even a breakfast pizza could cure it. I sat back on the beach and thought about the birds. I’d never heard anything quite like it. Until about three o’clock that morning I’d believed I quite liked birds, but that had all changed now. The birds, and their incessant night-long cacophony, were to blame. And so, with perhaps five minutes of sleep and a hatred of all things avian, I was shoving pizza into my face on an empty KZN beach and obstinately refusing to take any of the surrounding beauty in.

Pizza for breakfast from the ever-smiling Sphe Ndlovu of Proud’s Pizza.

We’d arrived the day before, my girlfriend Ann and I, and found Zinkwazi Lagoon Lodge, the town’s only campsite, without trouble. It was midweek and term-time and quiet. Golden afternoon light poured through the thick forest canopy as a surprised-looking lady showed us the best stands and told us we could pitch where we liked. ‘There’s no one else here.’

Trumpeter hornbills swooped through the trees and somewhere in the distance a fish eagle called. It was the picture of tranquillity. This little town called Zinkwazi (‘place of the fish eagle’ in isiZulu) was putting on a show, and the next few days here could only be idyllic. But by 6am I’d hardly slept and, leaving Ann snoozing peacefully behind her earplugs (smart girl), I’d dragged myself to the beach, found an old shipping container that proclaimed itself a pizzeria, and resolved to sit outside until it opened.

The view from Zinkwazi Lagoon Lodge.

Proud’s Pizza is a Zinkwazi institution. Perched at the end of the beach’s 24-car parking lot, its wood-fired oven gets going around 9.30 daily, with first orders an hour or so later. I ordered a Nkwazi Special which was excellent (ham, salami, olives), but it failed to replace eight hours of sleep and I stumbled morosely back to camp.

Ann was up. Making coffee and humming some happy little tune. One look at me and her humming stopped, out came the phone and in a few minutes she’d found another camping option outside of town.

1B4 Permapackers is, as the name suggests, a small permaculture farm-cum-backpackers seven kilometres from the beach ‒ an oasis of variation in a landscape of cane fields. Owners Mike Rosati and Courtney Roux greeted us warmly and apologised for the mess. The backpackers was brand new and the rooms inside the main house still under construction.

‘We’re due to finish by December,’ explained Mike, who was shuffling his time between farm work, construction and guiding walking safaris in Hluhluwe–Imfolozi Park. Courtney’s from East London but Mike grew up here, and his enthusiasm for their project and for the sleepy little town down the road began to make cracks in my mood.

Ann enjoying sea views on Cecelia’s Deck.

‘We’re not quite self-sufficient yet, but we’re getting there,’ he said, as we sat by the pool watching the chickens. ‘This whole area is sugar, sugar, sugar. And that goes for Zinkwazi too. A lot of the houses are owned by the sugarcane farmers. They like that it’s small and quiet. There was a proposed development a while back but they all chipped in and bought it out. Nobody wants any big changes around here.’

We pitched our tent in the empty garden campsite and after a quick nap decided to pop next door to Mike’s dad’s place, Chantilly Resort, where its revamped restaurant and bar were relatively new additions to Zinkwazi’s handful of culinary and nightlife options. Managers Chervon Werth and Greg Phoenix came to meet us as we arrived and Greg, a Ballito boy who’d been back here about a year after a decade as a chef and hotel manager in Sydney, handed us some beers and then, on request, a few more.

Shore fishing is popular south of the main beach.

It was Friday night and an older couple – curious locals who’d clearly not visited before – wandered in. They looked around and declared it ‘quite nice’, had a Black Label and a double Amarula, and left. With beautiful leather couches and a long, polished bar, I’d go further than ‘nice’. But Friday is locals’ night at the Deep-Sea Angling Club on the beach, with a braai menu on picnic tables for 50 bucks. Despite Greg’s R50 Friday lasagne special, it was proving tough to pull people away from what they knew and had liked forever.

A big, friendly-looking guy sat down next to us and ordered a double rum and Coke. ‘I’ll pour the Coke,’ he said to Chervon. ‘You guys always put in too much.’

A local and a regular. Jackpot, I thought, and turned on my barstool to chat. ‘You from around here?’ I asked. ‘You could say that,’ came the smiling reply. And so began a long evening of rum and beer at the bar. Charming and amiable, Eric Phoenix is, it turns out, also the owner of Chantilly Resort. Not a sugar farmer himself (he works out of town in metal fabrication), Eric moved to Zinkwazi in the 1980s from Zim, thinking he’d just find his feet for a bit and then move on. Now with a house in town, his kids close by and this spot on the hill, it was obvious Eric wasn’t going anywhere very soon.

Zinkwazi Lagoon Lodge has beautiful campsites under a lush forest canopy that’s paradise for birds; We spotted some dolphins along the beach.

‘It’s paradise here,’ he declared, gently insisting we have another round of drinks. ‘Just don’t even think about coming here for Christmas or New Year. The beach goes crazy and the traffic is unbelievable … spring or late summer is best. It’s cooler, quieter, but you still get those perfect days for doing nothing on the beach.’

Lack of sleep was getting to me so we waved off another round and made to leave. Outside a soft drizzle was falling.
‘No way are you going back to a tent tonight,’ said Eric, and pulled out a set of keys to one of the rooms. ‘On me,’ he insisted, and we weaved gratefully off to our best night’s sleep in ages.

The next day was brighter and so were my spirits. We’d booked in at a house on the beach for the rest of Braai Day weekend, and I was looking forward to a few more comfortable nights and some time on the beach.

When a beach house calls itself a ‘holiday manor’ it can be a bad sign – few live up to such a grand claim. Cecelia’s Holiday Manor has no such hubris. A sprawling, lived-in family home, it feels like the owners have just popped out for a bit, leaving jazz DVDs on the shelves and skateboards on the stoep.

A bottle of good red wine was waiting for us on the dining table. Outside, a huge stone veranda led to an even bigger garden, a sparkling pool, five outdoor seating areas and, only just visible in the distance, a wooden deck overlooking the sea. We poured a glass and headed that way. This is how you do Zinkwazi, I thought, as we watched dolphins and whales splash about below. Out-of-season rates for a beautiful mansion on the beach. Taking it easy like a local.

‘Shall we get a braai going?’ I asked as we strolled back to the house. A few birds cheeped in the trees, but I found I didn’t really mind.

A narrow sandbar protects Zinkwazi’s kid-friendly lagoon from the ocean waves.

Plan your trip

Getting there

Zinkwazi is 40 minutes north of Durban’s airport. Flights from Cape Town cost from R1 300 return; from Johannesburg from R1 100 return. The 650 km drive from Gauteng takes about six hours via the N3 and N2.

Do this

Paddle Zinkwazi Lagoon. Bring a canoe and explore the lagoon and river that winds through cane fields. Zinkwazi Lagoon Lodge guests can hire canoes from R40 for two hours.

Go fishing. Angling permits are R52 and mussel and crayfish permits R57 for a month, available from nearby Darnall Post Office. 0324861508.

You can shore fish, or launch your boat (before 8am, or 7am during holidays) at the Deep-Sea Angling Club. R171 per day, plus R200 to use its tractor. 0630819935

Relax! Zinkwazi is about getting away from it all. There’s not much else to do. Enjoy it.

Stay here

Cecelia’s Holiday Manor sleeps six in a comfortable family home that cascades down wide steps into a huge, tree-shaded garden with a pool and sea-view deck. It has direct beach access. From R430 per person sharing. 0828749596, cecelias.co.za

Zinkwazi Beach House rises over the milkwoods on thick stilts. This triple-storey beachfront villa sleeps eight in four bedrooms. The views are phenomenal and there’s beach access via a private boardwalk. From R350 pp sharing. 0832659631, zinkwazibeachhouse.co.za

Zinkwazi Lagoon Lodge has basic lagoon-front chalets and the only campsite in town. Chalets from R275 pp sharing for a six-sleeper. Camping
R160 per person. 0324853344, zinkwazilagoonlodge.co.za

Chantilly Resort is a stylishly converted sugarcane estate 7km from Zinkwazi. There are six luxury self-catering doubles, each with a private braai, firepit
and outdoor shower. R750 per person sharing B&B. 0836400021, chantillyresort.co.za

1B4 Permapackers is a relaxed, eco-friendly backpackers near Chantilly Resort. Doubles from R210 per person sharing and camping from R90 per person. 0827450442, 1b4permapackers.com

Eat here

Chantilly Resort has excellent food, very reasonably priced. The garlic prawn hot pot (R90) was delicious. The restaurant and friendly bar are open daily ‘til late and non-guests are welcome. 0836400021, chantillyresort.co.za

Zinkwazi Deep-Sea Angling Club serves drinks and burgers (R45) on the beach from late afternoon (except on Monday and Tuesday in the off-season), and from 10am on weekends and during the holidays. The Friday night special always attracts a crowd: R50 for a set menu off the braai. Booking essential. 0630819935

Proud’s Pizza operates from a shipping container in the main beach parking lot. Prouds wood-fired pizzas (about R70 for a large) are not to be missed. Open daily 10.30am to 7.30pm. If the beach is busy, save yourself the wait and place your order by phone. 0731692367

Good to know

Sugar Bay Holiday Camp, set on five hectares with private access to the lagoon, specialises in six- and seven-day camps for children aged seven to 17. From R4999 per person, all inclusive. 0324853778, sugarbay.co.za

Zinkwazi Beach Café is the town’s only shop, selling basic foodstuffs, wine and wood. It also serves burgers, toasties, great coffee and a good full English breakfast for R48. Find it on Glen Drive, two roads back from the beach.

This story first appeared in the December 2016 issue of Getaway magazine.

Get this issue →

Our December issue features 5 awesome summer adventures in South Africa. 

Love camping? So do we. These are some of our favourite Western Cape campsites, our pick of the best camping in the Overberg, Cederberg and Garden Route. Whether you’re looking for a private stand with your own loos and views, a river to swim in or crashing surf to send you to sleep, we’ve got a campsite for you.

Have we missed your favourite? Let us know in the comments section below.

 
Also read: 37 of South Africa’s best campsites

Campsites in the Overberg

1. Dwarsberg Trout Hideaway, Rawsonville

Location: -33.7754813, 19.174017

Dwarsberg Trout Haven, Rawsonville. Image credit: trouthaven.co.za

Number of stands: 11 (private), plus 5 self-catering cottages
Electricity: At some stands and not others. Check Dwarsberg’s website for details
Braai facilities: Yes – braai drums with grids
Shade: Yes, but each stand varies so check when booking
Ground cover: Grass
Pets: No
Nearby activities: Fly fishing, hiking, mountain biking (free) and wine tasting on nearby farms
Important info: Dwarsberg is a working farm. Their irrigation pump is situated at campsite 1, so book one of the higher numbers for maximum quiet. 2 bags of free wood provided per night for weekend bookings. Fishing is catch and release (bring your own gear). No day visitors. Minimum 2 nights over weeks
Cost: R690 per stand (6 people), R115 per person thereafter (max 20 per stand). R60 per night for kids 4-12 years, under 3 free
Contact: Tel 0233491919, trouthaven.co.za

2. Badensfontein Self-Catering and Camping, Montagu

Location: -33.72427, 20.1151477

Badensfontein, Montagu. Image credit: badensfontein.co.za

Number of stands: Open plan (about 25 stands), plus 5 self-catering cottages
Electricity: Yes, at the lapas
Braai facilities: Communal, or bring your own portable braai
Shade: Plenty of trees, and two thatched communal lapas
Ground cover: Grass
Pets: No
Nearby activities: Montagu Hot Springs, wine tasting, mountain climbing, walks in the surrounding farmland
Cost: R100 per person
Contact: Tel 0236142187, badensfontein.co.za

3. Oewerzicht, Greyton

Location: -34.100448, 19.665242

Oewerzicht, Greyton.

Number of stands: 25, plus various cottages and safari tents nearby
Electricity: Yes
Braai facilities: Yes – bring your own grid
Shade: Scattered trees. Gazebos and umbrellas recommended
Ground cover: Grass
Pets: Yes
Nearby activities: 25km mountain bike trail nearby, tractor rides (R50 per group of 5), hiking, swimming and tubing, Greyton Saturday market
Important info: The dirt road to the campsite is potholed, but sedan-friendly. Only one caravan per stand. Portable hot tubs are also for hire (R500 for the weekend)
Cost: R330 per stand (4 people), R90 per person thereafter (max 6 per stand)
Contact: Tel 0282549831, oewerzicht.co.za

4. River Goose, Bonnievale

Location: -33.975444, 20.148316

River Goose, Bonnievale.

Number of stands: 19
Electricity: No, but hot showers and solar lighting are available
Braai facilities: Yes – one drum and grid per campsite
Shade: Partial cover from large trees. Gazebos and umbrellas recommended
Ground cover: Grass
Pets: Yes, but only during off-peak season (i.e. not at Christmas and Easter)
Nearby activities: Wine tasting, fishing, barge cruises on the river (R100 per person for an hour and a half)
Important info: No loud music. Pets must be looked after so as not to be a nuisance to other campers
Cost: R120 per person
Contact: Tel 0827595727, safarinow.com/go/rivergoosecampsite/

5. Cape Nature: Grootvadersbosch, Langeberg

Location: -33.985167, 20.822778

Grootvadersbos, Langeberg.

Number of stands: 10, plus 12 self-catering cottages available nearby
Electricity: Yes
Braai facilities: Yes, but bring your own grids
Shade: Scattered trees and a large, communal lapa
Ground cover: Grass
Pets: No
Nearby activities: Short, local trails and overnight hikes into the Boosmansbos Wilderness Area
Important info: Grootvadersbos is a high rainfall area so be sure to check the weather before travelling. You might want to book one of their new self-catering cottages if the elements turn
Cost: Off-peak, R300 per stand and peak R370 per stand (6 people). R40 conservation fee (not applicable to Wild Card holders)
Contact: Tel 0214830190, capenature.co.za

Campsites in the Cederberg

6. Secret Falls, Winterhoek mountains

Location: -33.181944, 19.131913

Secret Falls, Tulbagh. Image credit: Taryn Ventures.

Number of stands: 9, plus 1 private campsite with its own ablutions, and 2 self-catering cottages lower down the mountain
Electricity: No, but hot showers available
Braai facilities: Each site has its own braai, plus there’s a communal braai and a braai place at the swimming pool. Bring your own braai grids
Shade: Some small trees. Gazebos and umbrellas recommended
Ground cover: Grass
Pets: Yes, max 2 dogs per stand. R70 per pet, per night
Nearby activities: Several free hiking trails for overnight guests, from short walks to the secret waterfall, to a long hikes up the surrounding peaks
Important info: No music, generators or running engines (unless you book the entire camp). Take all rubbish home. No fires in high wind. Access to the campsite is 4×4 only (off road trailers / caravans allowed). No day visitors
Cost: R130 per person. R70 for kids under 12 (max 4 adults per stand). Entire campsite bookings are also possible
Contact: Tel 0823934704, secret-falls-tulbagh.com

7. Houdenbek, Op-die-Berg

Location: -32.957148, 19.425338

Houdenbek, Cederberg. Image credit: houdenbek.co.za

Number of stands: 1 (private), plus two self catering cottages nearby
Electricity: No, but hot shower available
Braai facilities: Yes, grid provided
Shade: Scattered trees, but gazebos and umbrellas recommended
Ground cover: Grass and sand
Pets: No
Nearby activities: Day hikes to see rock paintings, rock climbing (32 sport climbing routes), and mountain biking (10 to 40km trails/single track). Free
Important info: Minimum 2 nights over weekends and 3 on public holidays. Take refuse with you when you leave
Cost: R100 per person, R50 for kids under 17 (max 15 people)
Contact: Tel 0836619912, houdenbek.co.za

8. Cederberg Oasis, Cederberg

Location: -32.551472, 19.3590963

Cederberg Oasis.

Number of stands: 7 stands, 1 with private kitchen/bathroom, plus 28 pre-erected tents, a cottage and rooms in the main house. Several new private 4×4 bush camps are also currently under construction a short distance from the main campsite
Electricity: Yes (at the main campsite)
Braai facilities: Braai places at each stand. Bring your own grid
Shade: Mix of trees and awnings, plus shaded pool and dining/bar area
Ground cover: Grass
Pets: No
Nearby activities: Various hiking trails (enquire at reception for permits), plus an overnight trail to Visgat Cave (R25 per person).
Important info: Silence after 10pm. Order meals in advance at reception
Cost: R150 per stand, max 4 per stand. R300 for a pre-erected tent (sleeps 2)
Contact: Tel 0274822819, cederbergoasis.co.za

9. Cederberg Sanddrif, Cederberg

Location: -32.488296, 19.270068

Cederberg Sanddrif. (Wolfberg Cracks pictured left).

Number of stands: 40, plus 16 self-catering cottages
Electricity: Yes
Braai facilities: Yes, bring your own grid
Shade: Plenty of trees
Ground cover: Mostly grass, but some sand in winter
Pets: No
Nearby activities: Swimming in the Matjies River and nearby Maalgat pool, hiking to Maltese Cross, and the Wolfberg Cracks and Arch (R60 permit available at reception, free to Wild Card holders), plus mountain climbing in the area. Don’t miss the wine tasting at nearby Cederberg Private Cellar (campsite reception)
Important info: There’s a small shop with basic supplies, meat and wine at reception. As of March 2017, hiking to the Wolfberg Cracks and Arch is closed due to recent fires. Check before planning your trip
Cost: R220 per stand (4 people), R55 per person thereafter (max 8 per stand)
Contact: Tel 0440040060, sanddrif.com

10. De Pakhuys / Rocklands, Cederberg

Location: -32.120813, 19.059582

De Pakhuys, Cederberg. Image credit: depakhuys.com

Number of stands: 11, plus various cabins, cottages and luxury tents
Electricity: 4 powered stands, and at the central kitchen area, which has communal fridges and cooking facilities
Braai facilities: Yes, bring your own grid
Shade: Plenty of trees
Ground cover: Sand
Pets: Yes, but by prior arrangement only
Nearby activities: Rock climbing and bouldering (permits R60 per day, or R200 per week – grants access to all rock climbing areas), various day hiking trails, swimming in the dam
Important info: Bring your own crash pad if you want to boulder
Cost: R80 per person, R40 for kids under 12 years
Contact: Tel 0836041459, depakhuys.com

11. Enjo Nature Farm, Biedouw Valley

Location: -32.139006, 19.298495

Enjo Nature Farm, Cederberg. Image credit: soulcountry.info

Number of stands: 3 (private), plus 5 self-catering cottages
Electricity: Yes
Braai facilities: Yes – grids available on request
Shade: Scattered trees. Gazebos and umbrellas recommended
Ground cover: Grass and sand
Pets: Yes
Nearby activities: Hiking trails, spring-fed swimming dam with sun beds, billiard table and dart board in the farmhouse games room. 4×4 routes
Important info: Breakfast and dinner can be booked in advance. Honesty bar available. Firewood for sale. Dirt road access, but not 4×4
Cost: R70 per person (max 6 per stand, max 10 on entire campsite), kids under 12 free
Contact: Tel 0274822869, soulcountry.info

 
Also read: 8 of the best campsites in the Cederberg

Campsites on the Garden Route

12. SanParks: Ebb and Flow Rest Camp, Wilderness

Location: -33.990809, 22.608240

Ebb and Flow Rest Camp (north), Wilderness.

Number of stands: 127, plus self-catering cottages and rondavels
Electricity: Yes
Braai facilities: Yes, grids provided
Shade: Plenty of trees
Ground cover: Grass
Pets: No
Nearby activities: Canoeing on the Touws River (R140 for 3 hours or R200 for the day), short hikes, swimming, birding, paragliding, beach
Important info: The campsite is split in two – north and south. South camp tends to get more sunlight and is warmer/brighter – best if the weather is cool. North is more shaded, isolated, and usually quieter, with fewer people
Cost: From R190 per stand (2 people), from R82 per person thereafter (max 6 per stand). R37 daily conservation fee (not applicable to Wild Card holders). Full rates and tariffs here
Contact: Tel 0124289111, sanparks.org

13. Buffalo Bay Caravan Park, Buffelsbaai

Location: -34.089365, 22.976346

Buffalo Bay Caravan Park.

Number of stands: 85
Electricity: Yes
Braai facilities: Yes – bring your own grid
Shade: None
Ground cover: Grass. Concrete slabs for caravans
Pets: No
Nearby activities: 20 minutes from Knysna, local shore fishing, beach walks
Important info: Cash only. Coastal fog and sea spray common, so pack accordingly. No music. Popular with caravans and motorhomes and can get busy in peak season. Laundry facilities available
Cost: From R300 per stand (2 people), R100 per person thereafter (max 6 per stand). Kids under 4 free. Full rates info here
Contact: Tel 0443830045, buffalobay.co.za

14. SANParks: Diepwalle Camping Decks, Knysna

Location: -33.949090, 23.155747

Diepwalle Camping Decks, Knysna.

Number of stands: 10 private decks, 4 with pre-erected tents
Electricity: Yes
Braai facilities: Yes, with grids
Shade: Full tree canopy
Ground cover: Wooden planks
Pets: No
Nearby activities: Day and overnight hiking trails, small but interesting woodcutters museum, forest picnic sites, birding. 30 minutes from Knysna
Important info: Dirt road access, but not 4×4. Tents that require pegs for setup will struggle on the wooden deck – bring extra string for securing to boards and rails. Of the tented decks, number 10 is most secluded and of the open decks number 4 is most secluded. Beware the monkeys
Cost: From R190 per deck (2 people, own tent), from R82 per person thereafter (max 4 per deck). R30 daily conservation fee (not applicable to Wild Card holders). Full rates and tariffs here
Contact: Tel 0443025606, sanparks.org

15. Plettenberg Forever Resorts, Keurbooms River

Location: -33.995008, 23.400686

Plettenberg Forever Resorts. Image credit: Chris du Plessis, 360 Image Film.

Number of stands: 116 (33 on the river), plus self-catering cabins
Electricity: Yes
Braai facilities: Yes, but best to bring your own grid
Shade: Plenty of trees, most stands shaded
Ground cover: Mostly grass with some sand. Paved caravan sites available
Pets: No (guide dogs allowed)
Nearby activities: Swimming, boating and canoeing, fishing, and plenty of kids’ activities (trampolines, Putt-Putt, play park, baby pool). 10 minutes from Plettenberg Bay
Important info: Minimum 2 nights over weekends. Pensioner long-stay discounts available. Disabled access
Cost: From R95 per person off-peak, up to R210 per person in peak season (max 8 per stand). R5 conservation levy. R30 per extra vehicle. Kids under 4 free. Full rates and tariffs here
Contact: Tel 0445359309, foreverplettenberg.co.za

16. SANParks: Nature’s Valley Rest Camp (De Vasselot)

Location: -33.970932, 23.562958

Nature’s Valley Rest Camp.

Number of stands: 65, plus 10 forest huts
Electricity: No. Power at main ablutions only
Braai facilities: Yes – bring your own grid
Shade: Mix of full shade (trees) and open sands
Ground cover: Grass and sand
Pets: No
Nearby activities: Various short trails, excellent birding, canoeing (available for hire) and swimming. Nature’s Valley beach is a short walk/drive away
Important info: One caravan/motorhome per stand. Laundry facilities available
Cost: From R205 per stand (2 people), from R82 per person thereafter (max 6 per stand). R44 daily conservation fee (not applicable to Wild Card holders). Full rates and tariffs here
Contact: Tel 0445316700, sanparks.org

 
Also read: 18 beautiful beach camps around South Africa

Here are some things we know about Chris Bertish. He is 42 years old. He’s South African. And after 93 days at sea, paddling across the Atlantic on a custom-built SUP board, he cruised into English Harbour, Antigua, yesterday. (To put that in perspective – it’s the equivalent of paddling from Cape Town to Lilongwe, Malawi and back again.)

Photo via Official Chris Bertish on Facebook.

When you hear about someone swimming a long distance and then (more often than not) find out they’ve been followed by a boat-hotel the entire time, it feels a bit like cheating. That’s not Chris’ style. It is literally just him alone in the ocean – one man, one highly-modified SUP board, and some incredibly advanced technology. (A water-maker, VHS radio, broadband global area network for internet access, and two sets of solar-panel units are just some of the gadgets he’s got on board.)

Check out the Chris Bertish Facebook page where there’s video of his arrival.

Some important questions:

How do we keep track of him?

Thousands of people have been tracking his movements on the website, TheSUPcrossing, where there’s a helpful note saying ‘do not be alarmed if periodically Chris is going backwards. This may happen during periods of rest or inclement weather conditions.’

Why on earth would somebody do that?

Apart from the fact that Chris feels most at home in the ocean, he’s also raising money to set up long-term funding annuities to feed children, pay for life-changing surgeries and build schools. (Want to help? SMS StandUp to 42146 to donate R30.)

But what about storms?

Oh boy. Chris’s Captain’s Log has kept us pretty well informed about the terrors of the storms out there. There have been some that have lasted weeks. WEEKS of being tossed about, unable to paddle, just hoping that it will eventually clear. The kind of mental energy that this must take is insane. (Read this awesome interview with Andy Davis of ZigZag, for some more insights into the mental strength this kind of undertaking requires.)

Photo via Official Chris Bertish on Facebook.

Isn’t he afraid of sharks?

Nope. Sharks are mostly inquisitive, rather than aggressive, and that SUP board is really very sturdy. The worst thing that could happen is that a great white will try to investigate the board with its teeth – but even then, it’ll most likely discover that it’s not very tasty, and leave it alone. Still, the motto is ‘be prepared’ – so Chris did take a ‘hand-grenade-like shark shield device’, in case of an emergency.

Photo via Official Chris Bertish on Facebook.

How does a person’s body deal with that kind of stress?

For the last three months, he’s been paddling the equivalent of a marathon every single day. Last week he broke a world record for the furthest paddled on a SUP board in one day. He promptly broke that record the next day. Apart from a nasty gouge to the finger, he’s had a shoulder injury that will probably need surgery. For now, it’s just mental grit and anti-inflammatories until he gets back on dry land.

But at least he can fish!

Um, not really. Most of the fish out there are massive – and it’s just not worth the risk of getting injured. No tuna sashimi tastes as good as having hands that actually work.

Photo via Official Chris Bertish on Facebook.

Kalk Bay is one of South Africa’s prettiest seaside villages, which makes it popular. Our expert Pippa de Bruyn picks out 13 of the loveliest rooms in its heart. Photographs by Teagan Cunniffe.

The case for Kalk Bay:

The views and quality of light are extraordinary

Built on slopes above the sweep of False Bay, its waters are held in the long mountainous embrace of the Kogelberg that culminates in Hangklip across the bay. The interplay of light and cloud on an ocean that can be as translucent as the Mediterranean is simply mesmerising. Sunrise is a real showstopper. Better still, the light stays soft and balmy ‒ very different from the relentless roasting of an Atlantic seaboard summer, where the better part of the day one has to skulk behind the half-gloom of drawn blinds.

It’s filled with charming turn-of-the-century architecture

Kalk Bay residents don’t equate size with luxury, so the scale and proportions are welcoming, and the village has an active historical society that is protective of the buildings and cobbled streets that define its character.

It has a real village feel

Geographically, Kalk Bay is very distinctive, and despite being inundated with tourists in the summer there is still a core community that doesn’t follow the usual formulaic class lines ‒ fishermen, artists, wealthy retirees, dropouts, hippies, entrepreneurs ‒ all passionate about their village.

There’s lots to do

Kalk Bay punches way above its weight in terms of culinary and retail offerings. It is arguably the most pleasant shopping precinct in the city, with a great independent bookshop, good jeweller (Anpa), a theatre, art galleries (make a point of popping into Kalk Bay Modern and Artvark), a bakery and a plethora of restaurants, of which Harbour House and Live Bait offer the city’s finest sea views.

1. By The Seaside Cottage

TripAdvisor No. 4 of 5 B&B/Inns
This dinky little freestanding cottage (shown on page 45) in the garden of artist Chris Silverston should be listed on TripAdvisor under Speciality Lodgings rather than B&B/Inns; that said, it’s a real gem. French doors at the end of a garden path open into a compact lounge-dining-kitchen area, with another set of French doors leading to your private patio with wrought-iron table and chairs. A staircase leads up to the loft bedroom, filled with fantastic sea views and light spilling over the queen-size bed through a large sash window. Chris has a great eye for the interesting and the beautiful but never at the expense of comfort, and you are encouraged to put your feet up and make yourself at home in her pretty garden. Location is great too: quiet and set back from the bustling centre yet five minutes walk from the high street.
Room tip: Chris also has a delightful two-bedroom unit attached to her house (capestay.co.za). In peak season she rents this out together with the house ‒ combined it sleeps six, and is one of the classiest options in town (perfecthideaways.co.za).
Cost: Cottage and unit both from R750 for two sharing, R100 per person extra. Two-night minimum stay. Exclusive-use from R6500, minimum stay one week.
Contact: safarinow.com

2. The Dalebrook

Unlisted
Kalk Bay might not have the beach and surf culture of Muizenberg but it does have a couple of delightful swim spots. Dalebrook tidal pool plays host to a group of early-rising locals who gather here daily in dressing gowns with steaming mugs of tea. Historic Dalebrook Place, a 1920s apartment block, is directly opposite. The apartment makes the most of the sea view with slide-and-fold doors ‒ once open, you feel as if you’re living on a large deck, with the smell of the ocean wafting in (and yes, the sound of trains rumbling past and traffic noise, though it usually dies down by sunset). The apartment is also surprisingly capacious ‒ three bedrooms sharing two bathrooms ‒ and furnished with real flair.
Room tip: The main bedroom at the back is the one to bag. The others are fairly small, so it’s good for a family but not for a group of friends who don’t like pulling straws.
Cost: From R2500 (sleeps six). Minimum two-night stay.
Contact: cape-accommodation.co.za

3. Chartfield Guesthouse

TripAdvisor No. 1 of 5 B&B/Inns
A surprising dearth of B&B options in this popular village makes the high standard here all the more commendable – not only the best B&B in Kalk Bay, but one of my top picks in Cape Town. Shireen and Florian Blöchliger carved 16 en-suite rooms out of this double-storey home, keeping much of the original turn-of-the-century character and furnishing it in simple, comfortable pieces (a mix of vintage and Weylandts) and well-chosen art. It’s a testament to Florian’s long-standing hospitality skills that this excellent-value B&B feels like a little hotel, with extra details such as complimentary tea and coffee served in bed, a generous pool with adequate loungers, great breakfasts and young, efficient staff.
Room tip: Best is the loft room, followed by the deluxe rooms 4, 5 and 11. Of the standards (no sea views), number 9 is a top choice followed by 10 (taken together, 10 and 11 make a great family unit). It’s a house, so be aware that if you end up with a room in the passages it can be a bit noisy.
Cost: Standard room from R700, deluxe from R890, loft from R990 (all sleep two).
Contact: chartfield.co.za

4. Crow’s Nest

Unlisted
Views are largely a given in a village built on a mountain slope, but this apartment is one awesome eyrie. It’s a stiff walk to get to your front door but well worth the effort when you step into an enormous horizon framed by virtually floor-to-ceiling windows. The main bedroom is situated right behind the lounge, and sliding doors mean you can enjoy the view while lying in bed. Decor-wise it’s a bit ‘stage set’, with quirky antiques that are more about making a statement than comfort, but it’s characterful and fun, with some great details (loved the ‘honesty wine rack’ – a great selection of wines, clearly labelled by varietal and well priced). There are two bedrooms sharing one fabulous open-plan shower room, but the living space is fairly intimate and feels more suitable for
a couple or young family. It’s managed by Chartfield House, so you have the backup of the guest house.
Room tip: If this doesn’t suit you or isn’t available, take a look at the other self-catering options managed by Chartfield House.
Cost: From R1200 (sleeps four).
Contact: kalkbayapartment.co.za

5. Fairwater

Unrated on TripAdvisor
Located in the centre of the village, Fairwater is another of Kalk Bay’s historic gems, artfully renovated by Louise Parr to create a family home- from-home that can comfortably accommodate eight. The downstairs open-plan living space has a large well-equipped kitchen, a lounge with fireplace and spacious dining area. It has no view but opens to a small garden in the front and a protected courtyard at the back; there is also an en-suite bedroom on this level (ideal for grandparents or in-laws if you’re planning a multi-generational reunion). The other three bedrooms are upstairs. Garden space is limited but directly opposite the house is a park with a play area, overlooked by Bobs Bagel Cafe (which, incidentally, serves a very good coffee).
Room tip: The main en-suite bedroom, opening onto a small balcony with sea view, is the plum.
Cost: From R2000 (sleeps eight). Three-night minimum stay.
Contact: thekalkbayportfolio.co.za

6. Theresa’s at Kalk Bay

Unlisted
Theresa Lewis has created the most delightful north-facing apartment above her 1925 home, with large steel-frame windows providing picturesque views of both mountain and harbour, and a position that catches the last rays of the sun. It’s furnished with a quirky mix of what the artistic Theresa calls ‘junk’ and contemporary pieces ‒ a bain-marie has been reconfigured into a kitchen unit with sink and hob, a claw-foot bath is combined with an open walk-in shower ‒ producing a space that is both more characterful and cheaper than anything you’ll find in Majestic Village. The location is also very convenient ‒ a two- minute stroll to the harbour and seafront, but in a quiet street set back one block from the main road.
Room tip: Theresa’s is understandably popular, and there’s only one at this price with this view. But in the same price range (around R200 more) is Fisherman’s Cove, a tiny, historic, semi-detached cottage with no views but very cute, managed by Away From Home (see Majestic Village).
Cost: R750 (sleeps two). Three-night or more minimum stay.
Contact: capestay.co.za

7. Kimberly House

Unlisted
There are lots of lovely grand old houses in Kalk Bay but there is something very special about the atmosphere of Kimberley House. It’s on the St James side of the village, halfway up a semi-cobbled cul-de-sac, and while lots of its original 1895 period features have been retained – mountain stonework, high ceilings, circular windows, oregon pine floors – it’s been sensitively renovated to create the easy-living flow of a modern house. There’s a large entertainer’s kitchen, plenty of doors and windows opening onto a huge, deep, semi-circular stoep with serene sea views, and a protected courtyard out back. The terraced garden is equally inviting, with a lovely shaded seating area. All three double rooms are en-suite, with more French doors. The lounge has a fireplace and sofas that invite you to flop down and gaze at the view ’til your eyelids get heavy. There’s a separate utility room, 10-seater dining room and parking for four cars – ideal if you intend having visitors over.
Room tip: There is a sleeper couch in the TV room so you can add extra guests at a push.
Cost: From R2950 (sleeps six).
Contact: kimberley-house.co.za

8. Majestic Village

Unlisted
If you’re looking for a one- or two-bedroom apartment with contemporary finishes, hotel-like facilities (pool, spa, gym) and strictly controlled access, book a unit in Majestic Village. A surprisingly large and architecturally textured security complex, the Village embraces both of Kalk Bay’s original 1930s hotels, repurposed into the 18-apartment New Kings and 14-apartment Majestic, as well as an organic mix of purpose-built apartment blocks, each architecturally unique in style and name (Quays, Mews, Middedorp, Millhouse, Townhouses etc). The mix of styles and low-slung design with pretty landscaping works well; wandering along the neat lanes of this faux village (reminiscent of Joburg’s Westcliff hotel), one can’t help but covet an apartment here; luckily you can rent one and just pretend you do.
Room tip: Melissa Jackson (proprietor of Away From Home) manages by far the largest portfolio of apartments in Majestic Village. I particularly like New Kings 6, Quays 6 (aka Harbour View) and Mews 1. Grant Holden has a great two-bedroom apartment simply called The Majestic.
Cost: Most are from R1100 or R1250 (sleep two to four). The Majestic is from R2800. Minimum-stay rules apply.
Contact: The Majestic 0769492480; capestay.co.za

9. Lynedoch

I wish there was space to visually feature this delightful, old-fashioned Kalk Bay villa. Sleeping 12 in six bedrooms, it is the biggest house I inspected in the village and represents excellent value. Unrenovated but in mint condition, it is clearly much loved by its UK-based owners and well tended by a live-in housekeeper. Located on a quiet road high up in the village, the views are astounding.
Cost: From R2400.
Contact: airbnb.com

10. The Firmount

Another excellent historic home (built 1919), which also enjoys a fantastic elevated location and is well managed by welcoming host Ted Saczek. There’s ample space for six people in three bedrooms and a variety of places (including the outside shower) to enjoy the marvellous views.
Cost: From R1800 (minimum two nights).
Contact: thefirmount.com

11. Beacons’ View

If you’re a family of four on a budget, this apartment is a great option. It’s in a small block set back from the bottom end of Boyes Drive, so the views are not as spectacular but you are in walking distance from the village. The apartment is nicely furnished and has real old-fashioned charm. A fabulous bargain if you don’t mind not being in a front-row seat.
Cost: From R940 for four (minimum two nights).
Contact: capestay.co.za

12. Spindrift

This is Louise Parr’s new one-bedroom apartment below her own home, neighbouring Fairwater. It has unobstructed harbour views and is another bargain.
Cost: From R1100 to R1500 a night.
Contact: thekalkbayportfolio.co.za

13. Eight Bells Delene Burman

Their one-bedroom flatlet is below her home situated high above Kalk Bay on the border with St James. The stairs are steep so it requires some fitness, but it’s very private and has a small, pet-friendly garden with a table shaded by an oak tree. It’s the views that will take your breath away, though.
Cost: From R500 (three- night minimum).
Contact: capestay.co.za

This story first appeared in the December 2016 issue of Getaway magazine.

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Our December issue features 5 awesome summer adventures in South Africa. 

Markets are not just places where people sell and buy stuff. They are much more than that. In fact, markets have always been social spaces where people can exchange ideas and get a sense of what was trending in fashion, food, decor and design. With Joburg being the melting pot of South African cultures, we’ve put together a list of some of the best markets worth visiting in Joburg to give you a good sense of what’s happening in this already trendy metropolitan.

1.Locrate

Of all the listed markets, I am most excited to try this one out. And no, it’s not because I heard it’s Instagram paradise. This market hosts young entrepreneurs who showcase their work and are keen to interact with young enthusiastic South Africans right in the belly of Soweto. It promises a relaxing vibe away from the trendy and bustling Soweto spots. The market sells products ranging from food, fashion, art to lifestyle.
When to go: Open on the first Sunday of the month, from mid-morning to late.
Contact: locratemarket.co.za, 0735219035

2. Bryanston Organic Market

Dating back all the way to 1976, this market prides itself on being one of Jozi’s oldest outdoor markets. The Bryanston Organic Market hosts over 140 stalls with deli foods, crafts and clothing made from natural materials. When you get tired from strolling around the stalls, there are four eateries where you can sit down and enjoy something to eat. They have live music and lots of kids activities.
When to go: They are open Thursday & Saturday 9am to 3pm and selected public holiday.
Contact: bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za, 0117063671

3. Fourways Farmers Market

The Fourways Farmers’ Market boasts over 100 stalls. The stalls offer a wide selection of vegetables, baked goods, preserves and handcrafted jewellery. You can also sit under Jacarandas, in the Maypole Ribbon Marquee area and enjoy a picnic.
When to go: Every Sunday 9am to – 4pm
Contact: ffmarket.co.za, 0114650877

4. Yeoville Food Market

Also known as the Congolese Market, you will find a variety of delicacies and items from across the continent. From culinary inspiration, spices, crafts and cloths, there is always something to discover from other parts of the continent. If there is a particular African spice or dish you want to try out, this is where you will find your answers. Or at least the inspiration. Unfortunately Yeoville is known for crime in the area which makes this a true hidden gem that’s not frequented enough; we’d recommend going in a group, during daytime.

5. Little Addis

Located in the trendy Maboneng Precinct, this market is a little Addis Ababa Joburg. They serve traditional Ethiopian delicacies and sell Ethiopian spices. This hidden gem is on Fox Street is a must for any foodie. Kassa’s kitchen is an Ethiopian restaurant within the market that serves up hearty Ethiopian meals from Tuesday – Sunday.
When to go: They are open on Sundays at Market on Main in Maboneng Precinct from 9am to 4pm.
Contact: littleaddiscafe.wixsite.com, 0826838675

6. Bamboo Farmers’ Market

The Bambo Farmers’s Market offers a variety of stalls with a wide range of products. The variety of items on sale range from food, décor, art, books, haute couture and vintage collectables. You will find an assortment of stores with a local touch. Most of the stores are run by owners which partly means you will find organic, custom-made local items.
When to go: The market is open every Saturday from 9h00-13h00.
Contact: bamboo-online.co.za, 0832846226

7. Market on Main

Market on Main is at Arts on Main which has been transformed from a 1900’s warehouse. A majority of stalls and store owners here are also young and aspiring entrepreneurs who get to showcase their work while offering visitors the chance to discover upcoming local designers. The space offers a relaxed and creative environment to experience the inner city lifestyle. You will find a variety of cuisines, plants, herbs, fresh produce, flowers, vintage items and local designers amongst others.
When to go: Open every Sunday at Arts on Main 10am to 3pm.
Contact: marketonmain.co.za, 0828681335

8. Neighbourgoods Market

This is probably the most popular market in Joburg, and is and it certainly sparked a love for markets for me. The Neighbourgoods market draws a variety of crowds matched by the variety of stalls and items on offer. This market is ideal for starting out your Saturday morning. You will find fresh food, craft beers, champagne, vegetarian options, biltong, and a variety of desserts. I like this market because you can dash across to Great Dane for a gay-friendly crowd or Kitcheners for an alternative crowd when they close. They also have live music and is ideal for grabbing something to eat and enjoying the vibrancy of Braamfontein.
When to go: Open every Saturday from 9am 3pm.
Contact: Facebook: Neighbourgoods Market, 0814162605

Also read: 17 awesome things to do in and around Braamfontein

9. The Sheds at 1 Fox

The location was part of one of the first mining camps that sprung up at the time of the discovery of gold in the 1880s. Today, this historic precinct is a cultural hub that hosts lifestyle businesses. There is an eatery, an event venue, a craft beer brewery and the Food Market Sheds. The Sheds shares the area with various food, clothing and lifestyle stores which makes it spacious and diverse in its offerings.
When to go: Open Friday, Saturdays and Sundays.
Contact: 1fox.co.za, 0832777272

10. Jozi Real Food Market

The Jozi Real Food Market is the perfect Saturday hangout for families and pet lovers. This spot is perfect if you love getting out and sampling local artisan food products and crafts. This spot is ideal if you are looking for a relaxed morning coffee – or if you want to start your weekend with a craft beer. There is entertainment in the form of live music, and dog owners can bring their dogs out to play.
When to go: They are open Saturdays 8:30am to 1pm and first Sunday Of every month from 9am to 3pm.
Contact: 0113277043, Facebook: Jozi Real Food Market

11. Rosebank Sunday Market

The Rosebank Sunday market hosts stalls with wares ranging from vintage items, craft items, clothing and food. Also, they offer an assortment of fast food options across a range of cuisines. Sometimes they host live DJ’s and live bands, check out their events page to see what’s on offer.
When to go: Sunday from 9am to 4pm.
Contact: rosebanksundaymarket.co.za, 0110287820

12. The Greensider

Greenside is becoming trendier and this market is no exceptions to these changes. The Greensider should be on your list when visiting this soon-to-be popular area. You will find craft beer, cocktails and wine. You can also enjoy wine or delicious food at Mish Mash which is right next to the market. If you are looking for a vibrant crowd, go in the evening from 5pm. Like many markets, their communal table setting makes it ideal for going out with friends.
When to go: Tuesdays from 6:30pm to 10pm. Thursday to Friday from 11am to 10pm. Saturdays 10am to 10pm and Sundays from 9am to 4pm.
Contact: Facebook: The Greensider, 0110262915

Durban’s known for its beaches – not only from an annual holiday-migration point of view but also in the everyday living, surf-before-work kind of way. We sent our Photo Editor, Teagan Cunniffe, to capture some of its more atmospheric scenes for the December 2016 issue of Getaway magazine.

Delight – a group of schoolchildren from Limpopo travelled 876kms to see the sea for the first time.

Stand up paddlers heading out to the sea, the profile of Durban city in the background.

The colours of late afternoon and early morning, as the sun rises over the sea and sets over the city.

A Zionist walks out into the water in an early-morning cleansing ceremony.

Dedication from the Durban Surf Lifesaving Club – chilly winter waters and vigorous exercise as they train for an upcoming Championship.

There are five lifesaving clubs between the Umgeni River Mouth and uShaka Marine World. They work hand-in-hand, in combination with eThekwini municipality, to ensure swimmers’ safety.

A famous sight – the Seine Netters pulling in nets near Durban Underwater Club.

Surfers Not Street Children, an organisation that uplifts and empowers kids. They also provide surf therapy, teaching children how to surf, giving them an outlet into nature and community.

Hazy mornings with rough seas barely deter regular early-morning swimmers.

Walking out along the pier on North Beach and jumping into the waters below is the quickest – but not the safest – way for surfers to get out onto the open waters.

Screams and shouts follow you as you walk along the shoreline – the sounds marking joyful abandon at the ocean.

Many routinely head out for a swim along the backline, armed with short fins as they swim amongst the surfers.

The water is used by all – surfers, swimmers, fishermen, spiritual devotees, kids and the elderly. Everyone is welcome in these warm waters that form part of Durban’s core identity.

This story first appeared in the December 2016 issue of Getaway magazine.

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Our December issue features 5 awesome summer adventures in South Africa. On sale from 21 November.

The Dusi Canoe Marathon is one of the toughest races in Africa, and a true story, inspired South Africa’s first-ever outdoor adventure film. We spoke to lead actors Lemogang Tsipa and Grant Swanby, stars of Beyond the River about a film inspired by a true-life story of two men who went for gold in Africa’s toughest river race. The movie comes at cinemas out in April.

Watch the trailer:

You met Piers Cruikshanks and Siseko Ntondini, the guys the movie is based on. What was your impression of them?

LT (Lemogang Tsipa): They were great to work with. They’re easy-going, fun and so eager. Piers is cool. He was on set to be Grant’s double – he even assisted with gear.

How intense was the training and preparations?

GS (Grant Swanby): On South African films we don’t have the budget to take a year off to work out and prepare. We had to work and try find time to train. We were cast in the film first, then we had to learn how to canoe. We weren’t canoeists before.
LT: I did quite a bit of training. It was not just canoeing but fitness in general. When we were cast, I was a regular fitness guy, but it’s very different when you have to paddle for 12 hours on set as opposed to a jog around the block. Grant and I tried to train together as often as we could, but there times when we had to work [on other jobs]. When Grant was working, I’d be alone at the Muizenberg Canoe Club. It was tough for a guy who doesn’t canoe, especially when I had to teach myself if my instructor couldn’t make it.
GS: It was important to us as actors to look as authentic as possible. It was good to aquire a new skill, and it was also important to be truthful to the script.
LT: We had Shaun Rubenstein showing us the ropes. He is an Olympic canoeist and also a gold Dusi winner. When he was in the boat with us, he was doing all the power work and balancing for us.
LT: It was great having someone at his level right from the start, to show us how to canoe properly. Lemo and I had the chance to get to know each other and discover each other’s strengths and weaknesses. We put in a lot of time on our own, too, to work to get things right.
LT: Even though we weren’t shooting in sequence, we were getting better at canoeing as we were shooting. We shot many scenes of us training first, then the actual racing bits towards the end. By the time we did the race, we were more comfortable in the water and the boat.

What’s the secret to running while carrying a canoe?

LT: The strategy is opposite feet – it’s a rhythmic thing. I step with my right foot and Grant steps with his left foot. Our heads are on opposite sides of the boat on our shoulders. Whoever is in front leads the way. When I feel Grant’s rhythm and he jumps, then I jump. The boat is heavy; it’s not unbearable when you lift it off the ground, but after a 500-metre run you begin to feel it. Some Dusi racers are better runners so they strategically run faster to get to the water, which gives a headstart.
GS: When you first pick up the boat it’s fine, but then there are also things to bear in mind such as entering and exiting the water, which requires good technique. If you’re doing everything at top speed, it has to be practised, almost like a Formula 1 tyre change where everyone knows exactly what they’re doing. Winning or losing comes down to the strategy you put into place.

Were there any unforeseen problems?

GS: One of the major obstacles in the filming process was the drought. A lot of the rivers in KwaZulu-Natal dried up, so we had to shoot on the Vaal River because there wasn’t enough water.
LT: At the one river location, the water came up to our ankles – it was just puddles. They released some water [out of a dam] for a race that was taking place on the Msunduzi River at the same time we were filming, so we followed behind the racers and took advantage of that water. The water levels go up and stay up for two days before drying again.
GS: Environmentally, we couldn’t waste water. The water releasing [for the race] is structured so it doesn’t take away too much drinking water that the community needs.

After doing a movie like this, do you feel like you can take on anything in your own life?

LT: I think it’s a natural journey for an actor. We always play different roles. Being a performer, you always get pushed out of your comfort zone. You will learn to believe in yourself. I recently had an audition for a film in German and I did it. I had to learn the language. It’s all part of small building blocks. You don’t realise how difficult something is, but being able to focus and push yourself is good.
GS: Learning as much as you can, you can overcome and achieve anything. If you put your mind to something, you can do it. Self-belief is universal.

What did you think of the shooting locations?

LT: There’s a lot of beauty in the Valley of 1000 Hills. It is one of the most beautiful places in the country … remarkable.
GS: I grew up in Durban. I’ve been familiar with the Dusi since I was a child, so it was wonderful for me to be part of this. Towards the end of the film, there’s a beautiful shot where the camera lifts up and you can see where I grew up in Durban. It definitely made me proud to come from this part of the world.

What can someone watching the movie take away from it?

GS: The film is really about trust and listening to each other in South Africa. It’s about unity. The story must be told. Everything we’re hearing in the press at the moment is divisive. It feels like this country is so fractured and nobody gets along. We also see, with regards to decision making, it’s important to trust and understand somebody else. Once we trust one another, the country will be in a much better position.
LT: I’ve never seen a canoeing film in South Africa. There are unique elements in the movie – it definitely explores many places that haven’t been explored enough, but it was important to us to keep the message universal so that people can relate to it.
GS: There’s a guy whose name I have to mention: Brad Fisher. He is an absolute unsung hero. He’s a successful businessman who believes in development paddling. He started the Soweto Canoe Club. He’d pick up young men who were committing crimes and didn’t have much to aspire to and give them hope. Brad would take them to Emmerentia Dam to canoe. There’s a character based on him in the film.

What are your hopes for the movie?

LT: Obviously I hope it does really well. I hope it will inspire South Africans to watch our own films. The more people go to the cinema to support, the better films we can make – more investors will throw money into the local industry. Our storytelling shouldn’t just be for South Africans. It should be for the world.
GS: People should go see the film. There are beautifully captured shots. It’s probably one of the best films that’s been made in South Africa. We always think ‘overseas is better’. But the actors are all South African, the producers are South African and it’s something to be proud of. It’s an important film for South Africa – socially and politically. It’s a story full of hope.

So, would you take part in the real Dusi Marathon?

GS: We could probably do it, but whether or not we’d want to would be the question! I am more of a cycling and running guy.
LT: In training I couldn’t steer, and as the person who sits in the front of the boat, that’s what you do. That was a big challenge for me and if we were to do the Dusi, I definitely wouldn’t sit at the front.

• Beyond the River will be in cinemas from 28 April.

A version of this story first appeared in the March 2017 issue of Getaway magazine.

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Our March issue features a self-catering trip to the Seychelles that you can afford, a secret Karoo retreat, learning to fly-fish in Rhodes and a Joburg road trip for beer lovers. 

Not all exercises are created equal. And in the great outdoors, neither are the humans doing them.

Isn’t hiking just the best? It’s the only true cardiovascular endeavour that rewards you while you’re actually doing it. Some folk will tell you that exercise is a joy in and of itself, but they are deranged. All that heavy breathing gives them too much oxygen, causing them to confuse the euphoria of a gym workout with the awful feelings they have while actually doing the working out.

Hiking does not abide that sort of carrot-and-stick constitution. It is benevolent, proffering up beautiful distractions the moment you set foot in the wild. First it draws your attention outward, to the majesty of your surroundings. Then it coaxes you inward, igniting your forgotten pioneer. You regard yourself with your mind’s eye, a modern explorer with purpose and appreciation, conquering the well-marked footpaths like the greats before you.

The problem with regarding oneself with the mind’s eye is that the gaze often tends towards the navel. ‘Look at me go!’ you think. ‘Look at my foot, and how well I put it in front of the other one. My feet are great. How’s this fresh mountain air? Best! Look at all the non-hikers down there breathing the stale stuff. Worst.’

Now I’m not suggesting our journalist Melanie van Zyl was basking in this kind of introspective glory while walking the fourth day of her first Otter Trail (full story on page 74). But it often happens that during such moments of self-absorption, the universe likes to remind us that there’s always someone doing it better. And it was then that two trail runners fizzed towards her, sending shivers through the foliage like capuchin monkeys, barely touching the ground. In the brief moment that they stopped, Mel learnt they were scrutinising the route for the Otter African Trail Run, a challenge so ambitious it attracts some of the fastest bipeds in the world.

I met one of these elite blitzpeds, Thabang Madiba, when I was sent to write about, and run part of, a five-day trail race in Madagascar last year. Actually I had ‘met’ him earlier, on social media, where he posts images of himself training beneath the hashtag #IfICanYouCan. Loathe as I am to admit I was motivated by a hashtag, it worked. In training for that race, ‘If he can, I can’ became a mantra that I’d huff and puff like The Little Engine That Could on rocky trails and dark, wintry streets.

And then I was in Madagascar, at the start of day four of the race when the dumbest thought I’ve ever had popped into my mind. I was going to try to keep up with Thabang. I don’t want to exaggerate but I’m going to anyway: after 30 metres I was dead. My lungs, soul and will to live left my body in unison, a holy trinity of pain followed by a singularity of reason: he can. But I, most certainly, cannot. Moving slower than the Internet in Oudtshoorn, I was swallowed up and spat out by the chasing pack like a zombie-attack victim, just enough energy left to collapse under a tree, and nap.

I finished, eventually, and Thabang was the first to congratulate me. Then he asked me how it went. Embarrassed, I searched my brain for an excuse
and mumbled something about how I hadn’t trained all that time just to come here to get it over with as fast as I could, which is the very definition of a race. I also told him I had a nap.

I didn’t think he’d heard me through all the wheezing, so imagine my surprise to find that at the 2016 Otter African Trail Run, three months later, after challenging for the lead, Thabang did exactly the same – he stopped and had a nap. And then finished the race in his own time. Official medical reports will probably tell you it was because he was grievously ill, having pushed past boundaries that would have killed mere mortals, but I think there was another reason. In the same way that he inspired me to train for that race, I think I inspired him to take more naps. Hey, if I can, he can.

This story first appeared in the December 2016 issue of Getaway magazine.

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Our December issue features 5 awesome summer adventures in South Africa. On sale from 21 November.