10 things nobody tells you about learning to dive

Diving is one of the most miraculous experiences a human being can have; it’s also one of the most insane, when you think about it.

Photo taken at Star Walls, Hout Bay, by Almasi Sudi.

 
I recently got my Open Water diving course at Pisces Divers in Cape Town; and although Cape Town is not known for its tropical sea temperature, I think it’s really the best way to do it. If you’re ready to take your relationship with the sea to the next level, read on to hear the things that you may find the most surprising; and why you should consider doing it in Cape Town.

1. Cape Town diving is epic

Cape Town, the place with the sharks, the place where the water on the other side actually touches Antartica, the place that is nowhere near Durban. Yes, it’s a bit cold. But here’s why it’s the best place to learn – it’s like learning to drive a car, for the first time, on a 4×4 course. Yes, it’s a bit more challenging, but it means you’re much better equipped for future experiences; and you’ll have the bragging rights forever.

2. Hand signals really matter

Of course, one of the first things you’ll learn is that the thumbs-up is very uncool – if you are enthusiastically giving everyone a thumbs up underwater, they will think you’re trying to say ‘let’s go back up to the surface, where our species was evolved to live.’ Another one, though, is that the signal for ‘problem’ is the exact same hand signal that you’d make when someone asks you how your Wimpy burger is. It’s fine, it’s not great, it’ll do, so-so. Hold your hand out flat and shake it horizontally and you’ve just told everything that there’s something wrong.

3. Don’t try to make jokes underwater

Not only because this is not a game, this is a serious situation, but also because no one will get it. You’re wearing a mask. You have no facial expressions. You look like an idiot, please stop.

4. Star Walls are incredible

Photo taken at Star Walls, Hout Bay, by Almasi Sudi.

For my last dive on the Open Water course, we went through to a site known as Star Walls in Hout Bay. Here, the cold water welling up from the depths also brought phenomenal visibility of over 25 metres; and the actual dive site is a beautiful sheer wall, dropping down to around 33 metres at the maximum depth, covered in coral and awesome marine life. We also had a chance to see an occasional curious seal whipping around to investigate us.

5. Oxygen can be toxic

At the right (or, in this context, wrong) pressure, the one thing that keeps us alive turns toxic. We’re used to breathing air, but pure oxygen is a whole different kettle of fish – and when compressed by the weight of all the water around you, it can kill you in a matter of minutes. Literally everything you think you know about life is the wrong way round.

6. Sharks are great

One of the main differences you’ll find between divers and normal people is how they discuss sharks. You know the way nature lovers feel about seeing a lion? Sharks are the apex predators of the sea, so it makes sense that seeing one in the wild is about as exhilarating as seeing a lion traipsing through your campsite. Remember that most shark attacks are a case of mistaken identity, when the silhouette of a surfer is mistaken for a seal; as a diver, your risk is much lower.

Another reason why people choose to dive in Cape Town is the opportunity to swim with cow sharks. They’re massive, curious, and not threatening to humans. They’re not always around, though, so it’s best to contact a dive operator like Pisces to find out what your chances are of meeting them before you get your heart set on it.

You’re much more likely to spot a curious seal, such as this one, when diving around Cape Town.

7. Diving will make you hungry

It doesn’t make much sense, seeing as diving is really only the process of learning to breathe slowly and using as little energy as possible. Having had the privilege of diving with actual pros, I couldn’t help but notice that they move as about as often as kelp: very seldom, and only when being propelled to do so by an outside force. But science works in mysterious ways. Luckily, there is a cafe inside Pisces Divers, where you can purchase the most amazing cheese toastie you’ve ever tasted.

8. Sometimes the worst case scenario is the best thing that can happen

I’m a big fan of being prepared. The most important things you’ll learn on your Open Water course are the worst case scenario situations: what to do if your regulator gets kicked out of your mouth, or your mask comes off, or you run out of air. That may sound terrifying, but trust me: if you are going to experience what it feels like to have your air turned off underwater, you want it to be in a pool, with a qualified instructor nearby. It means that in the very unlikely case that it happens out there in the wild open sea, you’ll be prepared.

9. It can take a lot of weight to feel this weightless

One of the main things that makes it bearable to dive in cold Cape Town water is a thick enough wetsuit; but that has consequences. Wetsuits are incredibly buoyant, which means that you’ll need more weight to make sure you aren’t bobbing to the surface like a beginner in waterwings. This isn’t a big deal when all you’re doing is flopping backwards out of a boat; but when you’re doing a shore dive and walking into the ocean, you’ll find yourself staggering down to the water like you’re giving a piggyback to a very weighty dwarf.

10. Your Open Water course is only the beginning

Before I started diving, I saw the world in terms of divers and non-divers. But that’s not the way it is at all; getting your beginning certification is like your training wheels, and once you’ve got that under your (weight)belt, a whole new world opens up. The feeling of being at home underwater is completely addictive, and suddenly you realise that your relationship with the ocean is one that can last your whole life – and it’s a beautiful journey that has only just begun.

If you’d like to begin your experience of diving in Cape Town, I can highly recommend Pisces Divers in Simons Town – a PADI Open Water course costs R5600, and includes five pool sessions, two shore dives and two boat dives.